Sunday, February 14, 2016

Dallas Comic Con 2016. They’re all single, underachieving, unemployed twentysomethings in green wigs and spandex.

Know what? “Big D” is being overtaken again by adult toddlers ... Dallas Comic Con 2016 is in full swing this weekend at the Irving Convention Center! The costumed nutjobs in attendance, from what I can tell, are mostly single, underachieving, unemployed twentysomethings who live in mom and dad’s basement and can’t get a date so they dress up like goons in green wigs and spandex and pretend they’re video game characters. I’m only guessing, of course, but I think it’s safe to assume they’re not law students.

In other news, once again we’d like to hammer Jeb Bush for being the biggest douchebag loser of the 2016 presidential election season for — ready for this? — congratulating himself during Saturday night’s GOP debate for the swell job he did overseeing Abu Ghraib Prison in Iraq while his brother destroyed America from Washington, D.C.

In case you need a quick refresher, the prison at Abu Ghraib was notorious for its heinous treatment of detainees long before U.S. Army Private Lynndie England dragged a naked, blindfolded Iraqi prisoner around on a dog leash. A scandal broke in 2004 when enlisted U.S. soldiers were investigated for abusing Iraqi prisoners through physical and sexual torture. Leaked photographs showed prisoners hooded and nude being terrorized by barking prison dogs, forced into obscene positions and piled on top of each other. Others were threatened with electrocution. Was this really Jeb’s proudest moment?
At least 11 American military police personnel were arrested, charged, dishonorably discharged and sentenced to prison, including England, who served three years in a naval prison. But Jeb is damn proud of his contribution as boss of the prison guards and believes this “foreign policy experience” makes him a perfect fit for President. Frankly, he should be tried as a FUCKING WAR CRIMINAL ... not elected to the White House!

To prepare myself for a week of intense design projects for The Howdygram Store, this afternoon I bought myself a jumbo file of chalkboard backgrounds from Creative (for the whopping sum of $8) due to chalkboard graphics being the hottest new “look” right now. Also watercolors, but that’s a topic for another day.

Therefore here’s a sample of a few chalkboard swatches from the collection I bought today. There are five or six different high-resolution background in each of four different colors ... black, dark blue, dark green and violet.
And here are a few of my chalkboard-style fonts in case you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. Are these cute, or what?

God bless Sunday nights. We’ve got microwave popcorn, plenty of ice cold diet ginger ale, a 60% chance of thunderstorms and the DVR is programmed to record all of my favorite shows! This includes “Downton Abbey“ on PBS,Keeping Up with the Kardashians” on E! and “Columbo” on MeTV. Later on tonight we’re also recording “Last Week Tonight” with John Oliver on HBO. To tell you the truth, it’s already 8 p.m., I’m surprisingly doped-up on prescription painkillers and barely have enough energy to drag myself into the family room for a late dinner. I’m considering lobster ramen with saltines and sugar-free Jell-O cups. And I hope it’s soon so I won’t fall asleep with a spoon in my mouth.

Thank you for reading this. You can do something else now.

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