Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Y’all hold a good thought for us. These clowns are the Lone Star State’s future legislators.

Hello, friends. It’s 8 p.m. Wednesday night and I’m parked at my desk in the study pondering what I should do next. I can continue typing, which is always a favorite fun activity for me, or I can haul myself into our luxurious remodeled shower, shpritz myself with soap and water for half an hour and emerge smelling EXCELLENT. Door number two sounds like my best bet since smelling excellent is always an attainable goal for senior citizens.

In the meantime please feel free to amuse yourselves until I get back. Try Googling “Donald Trump is an asshole.” He sure LOOKS like one, doesn’t he? Oy. That face.

A couple of days ago when Sam was on his way home from Costco he called to announce that he bought a big box of those frozen appetizers I wanted. I couldn’t remember which ones I’d asked him for, so he said: “You know, those Greek things. Spinabifida.” He meant “spanakopita.”
In case you didn’t already know, life with Sam is AWESOME.

This week the ultra-conservative and all-Republican Texas Supreme Court will decide if homeschoolers in the state must actually teach their children real knowledge or can instead sit around playing with clay until the second coming of Christ.

The case involves a pair of loons named Michael and Laura McIntyre, who pulled their nine offspring from a private school in 2004 to teach them at home. Eventually a concerned relative reported that the McIntyre children were all functional illiterates and did nothing all day except play musical instruments and sing Bible songs.
Last year an appeals court ruled AGAINST the McIntyres, saying the Christian couple was not exempt from state education regulations after Michael McIntyre’s brother overheard one of the children tell a cousin that “we don’t need to do any schoolwork because we’re going to be raptured.” However problems with these ignorant yahoos first came to light in 2006 when the family’s oldest daughter, who was 17 at the time, ran away from home to enroll at a public high school. Administrators at the school placed the girl in ninth grade because she couldn’t handle higher-level coursework. The El Paso school district asked the McIntyres to prove that their children were being properly educated, and the couple later filed a lawsuit when they were charged with gross truancy.

This case could be a very big fucking deal and have sweeping consequences for Texas’ estimated 350,000 homeschooled students if the Texas Supreme Court overturns the appellate court ruling, making it legal for nearly half a million home-schooled children to sit on the porch waiting for Jesus.

Y’all hold a good thought for us. These clowns are the Lone Star State’s future legislators.

Thank you for reading this.

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