Jamscript • Riffic • Rubik • Milasian Circa • Calvin and Hobbes • Amperzand
Mr. Jackson Rankenstein • Mistuki • Pineapple Delight • H B Sketch
Mr. Jackson Rankenstein • Mistuki • Pineapple Delight • H B Sketch
Wow, people ... this one’s a real winner. I tried Mountain House’s freeze-dried Italian Style Pepper Steak with Rice and Tomatoes for handicapped senior citizens tonight and it tasted so much like a fresh homemade entree that I had to pinch myself in
In case you’re not familiar with Mountain House freeze-dried entrees, they’re marketed to campers and backpackers and sold in single-serving pouches that you rehydrate with boiling water. The bag says it’s two servings but I have no problem eating the whole thing by myself, which is no surprise whatsoever. I discovered Mountain House entrees by accident a few months ago on Wal-Mart’s website and decided to give them a shot because I’m unable to cook for myself any more due to mobility problems, and when Sam’s not home to help me out Mountain House saves my life. I have bottled water, a measuring cup and an electric tea kettle on my desk in the study, and now I always get a nice tasty entree for dinner on nights when Sam is working late! I eat right out of the bag with a big plastic spoon and don’t even have to rinse any dishes afterwards. THIS IS SO FUCKING PERFECT.
Ever wondered whether, if given an opportunity by magic, Jeb Bush would go back in time and kill teeny Adolf Hitler in his crib?
Pathetic loser-ass doofus Jeb — the Bush who’ll never live in the White House because he doesn’t know how to drive in Washington (true story) — has finally admitted that ALL LIVES DON’T MATTER. In an interview with the Huffington Post Jeb stated he would absolutely and gladly kill Baby Hitler, presumably AFTER Baby Hitler was born (because fetus) but before Baby Hitler was eligible for Medicaid (because nobody needs another government moocher).
“Hell yeah, I would!” the former Florida governor told HuffPost. “You gotta step up, man.”
The question first came up last month when The New York Times Magazine polled its readers and found that most respondents said they would kill Hitler as a baby. Bush addressed the issue while riding around New Hampshire on his campaign bus after the question popped up in his public email account.
As far as I know, however, Jeb never attacked Barbara with a hammer.
It’s almost 11 p.m. and I don’t know if Sam will be home from work at midnight or not because I haven’t heard a peep from him since he left here at 3:15 this afternoon. In the meantime I’m drowning my sorrows and pondering my next move with a box of Voortman’s sugar-free Almonettes (best cookies EVER) and a can of Diet Sunkist. I think a nice hot shower would be great just about now and maybe a movie or two in the family room. I’d watch another “Columbo” DVD except I can’t reach the DVD player (it’s on the bottom shelf of our media console) and I forgot to ask Sam to pop in a new disc before he went to work.
Thank you for reading this!
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