Sunday, August 30, 2015

My quadruple-whammy Sunday.

I feel like CRAP this morning. It’s actually been kind of a quadruple-whammy. I woke up at 5 a.m. in a puddle of perspiration and couldn’t catch my breath, the result of a fairly substantial fever and a severe low blood sugar episode. I sat in the bathroom eating glucose chewables until I started to feel steady again and then popped one of my prescription painkillers because it’s got Tylenol in it. While I wait for it to kick in I’m also dealing with pain in my knees and heels plus raw skin on the back of both thighs. It’s like winning the weekend agony lottery. LET’S SLAM THAT POOR OLD BROAD WITH EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE! So here for your possible interest is the latest Shit-O-Meter report. Oy.

It’s been a pleasant shopping day here at Howdygram headquarters. First, I ordered a couple of awesome rayon and linen accent pillows to jazz up our new sectional in the family room. They’re from and cost $49 for two. I was hoping to spend about ten bucks each, but after scouring thousands of pillows on five different websites for a day and a half — Amazon, Wayfair, Overstock, Wal-Mart and Bed, Bath and Beyond — this was the only style that did it for me. (They were $5 cheaper from Amazon but out of stock.) I also threw in a 20-inch square pillow in solid red but don’t tell Sam.

After doing some research this morning on my latest “find” — Mountain House freeze-dried meals for senior citizens in ziploc pouches — I discovered a variety that Wal-Mart doesn’t carry: FREEZE-DRIED BISCUITS & GRAVY! I ordered three two-serving pouches from on sale for $4.79 each. THIS IS A FANTASTIC DEAL, people, and another opportunity for seniors with mobility issues to eat a genuine hot meal WITHOUT COOKING. All you do is add hot water, stir, zip up the pouch, wait nine minutes and eat. Life couldn’t get much easier than this! Holy crap.

And last but not least, here are a couple of pantry essentials that I ordered this morning from Wal-Mart ... an eight-roll package of Brawny paper towels and four jars of Giorgio sliced mushrooms for when I make Marcy’s World-Famous Senior Citizen Thanksgiving Bowl. God forbid you should ever run out of fine shit like this.

Thank you for reading this.

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