Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Introducing our fantastic new tape dispenser with a bonus built-in pencil cup.

Heat has to be the big story today because WE’RE FRYING TO DEATH IN TEXAS. Holy crap, check it out for yourself. Relentless triple digits, no rain in sight and enough humidity to make it feel like a third-world country. THANK GOD FOR CHERRY POPSICLES AND CENTRAL AIR. Thank you.

We’re sitting shiva today at Howdygram headquarters because MY GODDAMN TASTE BUDS ARE DEAD AGAIN. This is a come-and-go by-product of diabetic neuropathy — along with difficulty swallowing, shortness of breath, low body temperature, screaming nerves in your hands and feet — that makes my second-favorite hobby a thoroughly miserable experience. You know, EATING THINGS. (My first-favorite hobby is writing the Howdygram.) Last night’s dinner (spicy shrimp ramen in a bowl) was just fine but this morning’s toasty English muffin with I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter and pepper jack cheese tasted like a MOUSE PAD.

Therefore, to cheer myself up I just bought a fantastic new tape dispenser for the study from Amazon that holds two rolls of tape at the exact same time — including TWO-INCH CLEAR SHIPPING TAPE — with a bonus built-in pencil cup. If you’re wondering how come I suddenly got inspired to buy a tape dispenser, this morning Sam tried to package a bag of leftover chrome cabinet handles so we can ship them back to Amazon for a refund and wound up losing a 30-minute wrestling match with our tape gun. Afterwards I promised to find a better way ... AND I DID. Stay tuned for a product review next week.

For an authentic Windy City feast you have to try Portillo’s Italian beef from Tastes of Chicago. You get rolls, beef, gravy, peppers and giardiniera for eight people shipped in dry ice WITH OVERNIGHT SHIPPING INCLUDED ... all for $84.99, which really isn’t so bad if you’re hungry and homesick.
In case you need a little help figuring out how to tackle a Chicago-style Italian beef sandwich like a native, the following instructional video has it all.

Have a really pleasant day, okay?

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