Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Chef Boyardee mini ravioli is an excellent meal when you have no other immediate options.

I’m pleased to report that Howdygram headquarters is finally nearing the end of its big summer remodeling hoo-hah! Re-Bath of Dallas was here this morning to install the glass shower enclosure in our master bathroom and Gary-the-Handyman painted the family room, installed recessed lighting in the laundry room, ate lunch, repaired a stress crack on the living room ceiling and tried to find my missing towel rings.

For the record, we’ll finally be able to use our new remodeled shower starting tomorrow at 1 p.m. I’m so excited I might have a brain hemorrhage. I’VE BEEN WAITING ALMOST FOUR WEEKS FOR THIS!

This morning I ordered myself another new office chair for the study from Brylane Home to replace the other new chair from Brylane Home I bought two months ago that’s already coming apart at the seams and is so unbearably uncomfortable it deserves to be stabbed, bludgeoned, kicked in the testicles and shoved off the Brooklyn Bridge. What a fucking waste of money! The new one probably won’t be too much better but at least it doesn’t have many of the features I hate about the one I bought last time ... so that’s something.

The new chair appears below for your possible interest. I also threw in a set of red 100% cotton wrinkle-free king-size sheets because I had a promo code for free shipping that probably saved me about $75. (God bless free shipping. Really.)

As a follow-up to a new feature in yesterday’s Howdygram I’ve got three more scary stupid quotes from assholes in the 2016 Republican clown car. My comments are in italics.

BOBBY JINDAL. “Racism wouldn’t exist if minorities would just act like white people.” Out of the mouths of morons ...

JEB BUSH. In response to a group of donors about his Middle East policy, Jeb said, “If you want to know who I go to for advice, it’s George [W. Bush].” God help us.

RICK SANTORUM. “The right approach to rape is to accept the gift of human life. Accept what God is giving to you.” I’d like to see you suggest that to your own daughter, you arrogant shitbag.

Here are a few more free fonts that I added to my collection this afternoon. I LOVE THESE GUYS! Please don’t hesitate to email me for the files if any of these interest you, okay?

And now, as my final thought-of-the-day, it’s time for a nice juicy nap in the family room and a William Powell movie followed by a teeny tub of Chef Boyardee mini ravioli, which is an excellent meal when you have no other immediate options. (Sam won’t be home from work tonight until around midnight so I’m responsible for feeding myself.)

Thank y’all for reading this!

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