Zazzle is advertising The Howdygram Store on MSN.com.

Happy Tuesday, boys and girls! I’ll try to remain cheerful as I write even though I’ve had a couple of shitty days this week, health-wise. I refer specifically to the following specific physical complaints, which are basically the same as Sunday’s: 1) screaming toes; 2) electric shocks in my left heel; 3) pain in both knees; 4) burning skin on the back of my thighs; 5) unexpected and frequent bladder explosions; and 6) feeling lightheaded. Put them all together and you feel like TOTAL CRAP. I’ll post my latest Shit-O-Meter readout for your possible interest.

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Monday’s freebies from Creative Market included a couple of excellent collections. First, two dozen exceptionally snazzy “Urban Jungle” background patterns … and they’re even SEAMLESS so you can tile them in any direction to create a giant image the size of North Dakota. Second, a gang of interesting logo designs in Adobe Illustrator format so you can add color and change the text. I have no idea if I’ll ever need the logo thingies, but they’re free … so what the hell, right?

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I’ve only got three FREE FONTS for you this morning, but I think they’re all terrific so you shouldn’t grouse about it. I’ll be able to use all of them for greeting cards and other design projects for The Howdygram Store. I think my favorite is “Picaso.” You’ll find download links below the graphic. Be nice and share, okay?

Boom and Farrow • Light Butterfly • Picaso

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As long as I’m thinking about The Howdygram Store, I want you to check out this screen shot from MSN.com featuring a couple of ads running right now from Zazzle. The big one on the left features one of my bridal shower guest book designs, and the sidebar ad on the right features three of my spiral notebook designs and a Christmas card (they’re the ones outlined in red). The results have been astonishing and all five of these items are selling like crazy right now. THANK YOU, ZAZZLE!

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On Monday during his visit to Israel — in between blunders, flubs, ridiculous protocol errors and generally behaving like a total asshole — Donald Trump visited the western wall (see photo below) and deposited an electoral college map of his “massive” and “unprecedented” election win last year, just in case tourists and reporters were unaware.

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And finally … I’m getting ready to order another new leather chaise lounge from Macy’s to replace the one I currently have due to the cushions are starting to sag and it’s not as comfortable as it used to be. Also because the chair is ON SALE right now at $400 off the regular price, which is a tasty little incentive and makes this an ideal time to buy a replacement. As soon as I place my order this morning I’ll coordinate with Good Will to pick up the old chair. I’m so excited I can hardly stand it. Anybody want to help me celebrate with pancakes? (Psst. Bring your own syrup.)

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Time to tak a nap with a nice movie, ice water and a couple of Tic Tacs. This morning I’d like to watch Murder Ahoy (1964) starring Margaret Rutherford and Lionel Jeffries. Thank you for reading this.