So here’s the thing. I’ve got a million subjects to write about, and the most efficient way to accomplish this would be in neat little subtitled paragraphs. Here we go.
AT LAST WE HAVE A SPECIAL COUNSEL. Yesterday the Department of Justice chose former FBI director Robert Mueller to oversee the destruction of Donald Trump and his merry band of dumbass traitors.
Mueller will oversee the investigation into ties between Trump’s campaign and Russian officials. The decision was made by deputy attorney general Rod Rosenstein after Trump abruptly fired FBI director James B. Comey, followed by Comey’s subsequent disclosure that Trump asked him to drop the investigation of his former national security adviser, Michael Flynn. Holy shit … OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE! Mueller was formerly director of the FBI for presidents George Dubya Bush and Barack Obama. (Mueller has a nice face and reminds me of John Kerry.)
SAM IS GOING TO PHOENIX ON MAY 31. Scottsale, actually … to visit David, Lisa and Anna (his brother, sister-in-law and adorable daughter, respectively). I’m more than a little nervous, because I haven’t been feeling well again — for a change, right? — and I’ve been trying really hard to snap back from my last “home alone” experience when Sam went to Los Angeles at the end of March and I was FUCKING MISERABLE with off-the-charts pain, winding up in intensive care for six days as soon as he got home. Although I don’t think I’m expecting a repeat scenario, I’m concerned that I’ve been feeling FAINT every time I try to walk 15 or 20 feet. This afternoon I almost didn’t make it from the bathroom to the family room and Sam got so freaked out he didn’t know what to do first. I have a hunch I might be having problems with low blood pressure, but I won’t know for sure until I see Dr. M at the end of the month.
Stay tuned for additional developments but please feel free to continue your normal routine in the meantime.
DONALD J. TRUMP, THE LOW-CLASS RICH GUY. Sorry, people, but you definitely can’t buy class ... as evidenced by this candid photo of the Manhattan orangutan struggling with an unexpected gust of wind. The rest, I believe, is self-explanatory.
THE ROYAL FAMILY IN 1951. Thought you might enjoy the following picture of the British royal family taken in 1951, the year I was born. You’re welcome.
I SWITCHED BACK TO UNJUSTIFIED PARAGRAPHS. And in case you’re wondering why, it’s because justified right margins for the Howdygram are a complete pain in the ass. Safari generates too much HTML in Blogger and I was spending way too much time modifying code and copyfitting with little words to fill in idiotic word spacing. So I’m back to ragged right margins and couldn’t be happier. I’d rather concentrate on content, NOT all that petty bullshit.
TRUMP HIRES FORMER MILWAUKEE SHERIFF DAVID CLARKE TO TERRIFY IMMIGRANTS. Clarke will be Assistant Secretary of Homeland Security, a post that the Trump regime hopes will wreak havoc with immigrants and people of color, which is more than a little ironic. Clarke has claimed that ISIS and Black Lives Matter activists were forming an alliance to destroy America, routinely mistreated jail inmates, and was ultimately responsible for the death of Terrill Thomas, who died in April 2016 after staff members at the jail cut off the water in his cell for a week.
Some former Homeland Security officials expressed outrage that Sheriff Clarke would take a position at the agency. And Senator Kamala Harris (D-CA), who sits on the Senate Homeland Security Committee, wrote in a Twitter post: “Sheriff David Clarke’s unconscionable record makes him unfit to serve. This appointment is a disgrace.” Anybody surprised?
Stay tuned for additional developments but please feel free to continue your normal routine in the meantime.
DONALD J. TRUMP, THE LOW-CLASS RICH GUY. Sorry, people, but you definitely can’t buy class ... as evidenced by this candid photo of the Manhattan orangutan struggling with an unexpected gust of wind. The rest, I believe, is self-explanatory.
TRUMP HIRES FORMER MILWAUKEE SHERIFF DAVID CLARKE TO TERRIFY IMMIGRANTS. Clarke will be Assistant Secretary of Homeland Security, a post that the Trump regime hopes will wreak havoc with immigrants and people of color, which is more than a little ironic. Clarke has claimed that ISIS and Black Lives Matter activists were forming an alliance to destroy America, routinely mistreated jail inmates, and was ultimately responsible for the death of Terrill Thomas, who died in April 2016 after staff members at the jail cut off the water in his cell for a week.
I need to relax now and join Sam in the family room for a movie and a nice fizzy Diet Sunkist with ice. Thank you for reading this!
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