It’s never too soon to teach your kids how to write coherent and meaningful thank you notes.

Know what? I’m NOT having a good day today, and to tell you the truth it’s been downright shitty due to all kinds of pain. I’ve got knee pain, severe pain in my left heel and most of the toes on my left foot, burning skin from diabetic neuropathy and a brand new batch of horrible leaking pressure sores on the back of both thighs. At times today — such as RIGHT NOW — this crap has been almost unbearable. I just thought you’d want to know, and here’s my latest Shit-O-Meter readout in case you care [click here for more details]. Thank you.

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As a distraction from the crap in paragraph one I think I’ll show off my latest artsy-fartsy acquisitions from Creative Market, the best go-to source on the planet for graphic designers — even retired graphic designers such as yours truly — who don’t have the technical wherewithal to create these beautiful whanots for themselves. First I bought collections of really stunning high-resolution patterned gold foil backgrounds and really stunning high-resolution black glitter backgrounds, a small sample of which appears below:

And then I bought a collection of high-resolution hand-painted watercolor floral sprays:

I’ll use all of these for greeting card designs, mousepads, notebook covers and assorted other products for The Howdygram Store on Zazzle. And while I’m on the subject, yesterday I spent part of the day designing a new line of personalized note cards for children with cute cartoon animals and striped backgrounds. FYI ... it’s never too soon to teach your kids how to write coherent and meaningful thank you notes!

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In case you missed the big news ... Cliven Bundy, 69, the leader of the asshole militia movement that’s been threatening to kill government officials since 2014, apparently will rot in a jail cell until he’s convicted and sent to federal prison for the rest of his miserable life. On Thursday a federal judge in Nevada refused Bundy’s latest request to be freed on bail ahead of his trial on conspiracy and other felony charges for his role in a 2014 armed standoff with federal agents. U.S. Magistrate Judge Carl Hoffman ruled that Bundy is a danger to the public if he’s released. Yeah ... no shit!

Bundy labels himself a “Sovereign Citizen,” which means he refuses to recognize the legitimacy of the federal government even though he (ironically) loves to wave around a pocket edition of the U.S. Constitution. And now that Bundy is in custody and knows for sure that he’ll be convicted for his crimes — including the aforementioned threatening to kill FBI agents, sedition, refusing to pay two decades’ worth of grazing fees for his stupid fucking cattle on federal land, extortion, trying to join a group of domestic terrorists at the laughably doomed Oregon dildo “uprising” and a host of other serious charges — LETTING HIM OUT ON BAIL WILL POSITIVELY NEVER HAPPEN. Not now. Not EVER.

So mazel tov, Cliven, you finally achieved your dream. You and your two idiot sons are successfully occupying a federal facility ... except it’s called a PENITENTIARY.

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Thanks for dropping by. I have to find a way to drag myself to the bedroom now because it’s late, I’m pooped, and I’m in major pain. Oy.