Sunday, February 25, 2018

From what I can tell, about 65% of NBC’s televised prime-time Olympics coverage has been about snowboarding.

Hi-de-ho, people. It’s another cold, wet day in north Texas. We’ve got a full day of storms and heavy rain in the forecast … and the fun is expected to start around 10 a.m. (two hours from now) after Sam swings by our polling place to take care of his early voting responsibilities. (It’s the Democratic primary for the November election.)

In other hot news, sometime today I’m expecting a visit from my Baylor HouseCalls medical team because it’s time for another INR blood test to make sure my clotting speed is good. In case you’re interested, whenever my results are out of the “normal” range — 2.0 to 3.0 — they have to adjust my dose of Coumadin (a blood thinner) and then do a re-test one week later. After I get back to normal they’ll test two weeks in a row to make sure it wasn’t a fluke and then test again two weeks later. I’m definitely looking forward to that … although for the time being I’ll still have to see my medical team every week due to a continuing problem with LOW BLOOD PRESSURE, which started when I was hospitalized last month on Martin Luther King Day. Apparently my condition was so bad I wound up in an early stage of sepsis, evidenced by a serious infection (cellulitis), a high fever and dangerously low blood pressure, such as 58/40. (In the emergency room I remember hearing two doctors tell their staff not to let me fall asleep!) Anyhow … my blood pressure is starting to improve (last week it was 80/58) but it’s still low. Stay tuned for additional developments but please feel free to resume your normal daily routine in the meantime. Thank you for your support.

Thought you’d like to know how my HouseCalls visit turned out on Friday. First, my blood pressure is slowly getting back to the low/normal range (100/70), which makes me extremely happy because low blood pressure is worse for a person’s already-shitty kidneys than high blood pressure. And second, my INR was 2.5. One hundred percent normal again, two weeks in a row! We’ll test again on March 8 … but this time it will be a complete routine checkup with my nurse practitioner (Anthonia) and lots of annoying lab work.

Here’s another short list of FREE FONTS for you today, including several excellent hand-lettered fonts (“Jumping Jasper,” “The Hand,” “Qillow”), bold display fonts )”Gelo,” “Messenger”) and a fancy serif font (“Decize”) with lots of alternate swashy characters. I know you’ll want some or all of these for your personal collection so I’ll add download links after the graphic.

I’ve also got a nice (and free) variety of backgrounds and patterns in case you ever use strange crap like this. The Morning Mist collection includes several chalkboard backgrounds. (I love chalkboard backgrounds!) Shoot me an email if you want any of these, okay?
I’ve got three more new vocabulary words for you today! Bashert means predetermined … but it also can be used to refer to a soul mate. Bisl means a little bit, such as “Would you like to learn a bisl Yiddish?” (A bisele is even teenier.) And finally, bubbe mayse refers to an old wives’ tale, a superstition, gossip or a story of dubious truth. Stay tuned for our next lesson!

It was my plan to add more Olympics commentary here but I honestly don’t think I’ve got the stomach for it because the 2018 Winter Games in PyeongChang have been boring, atrocious, unsurprising and pathetic. Even the figure skaters. At the top of the annoying list are old athletes who refuse to retire … such as:
  • CAROLINA KOSTNER of Italy, 34 years old. Figure skater. This was her fourth Olympics, and (as usual) she finished far off the podium.
  • LINDSEY JACOBELLIS, U.S.A., 33 years old. Snowboard Cross. This was her fourth Olympics, but she fucked up and finished off the podium again. The only medal Lindsey ever won was a silver at the Turin Olympics back in 2006. She’s nearly twice as old as every other snowboard competitor and looks ridiculous. Enough already.
  • SHANI DAVIS, U.S.A., 35 years old. Speed skater. This was his fifth Olympics. Shani bombed out because he’s about 15 years old than anyone else on the team. He also has an entitled attitude that really pisses off the press.
  • LINDSEY VONN, U.S.A., 33 years old. Downhill skiing. The most over-hyped skiier in history earned a measly bronze this year in the Downhill, ended up sixth in the Super-G and did not finish in the Combined after missing a gate. PyeongChang was her fourth (and final) appearance at the Olympics. Thank God.

From what I can tell, about 65% of NBC’s televised prime-time coverage has been about SNOWBOARDING. This category includes Snowboard Cross, Snowboard Big Air, Snowboard Halfpipe, Snowboard Slopestyle and Snowboard Parallel Giant Slalom … with separate events for men and women even though most of these “athletes” are in still in high school and most of the events consist of nothing more than ridiculous skateboard tricks on one short, fat ski.

Aside from Curling and Women’s Ice Hockey, the U.S.A.’s typical gold medal dominance was a big fat bust in PyeongChang. I thought NBC’s coverage sucked, too. Seriously … who the fuck is Mike Tirico?!

Thank you for reading this and please try to remember the Alamo at least twice a day.

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