Aljona Savchenko and Bruno Massot of Germany demonstrate the crowd-pleasing “flying crotch.”

Happy Thursday morning to you and yours! We’re experiencing a highly pleasant (and well-deserved) balmy pre-spring day here with an expected high around 80°. Following an unusually long Texas winter (three months!) with temperatures that rarely rose above 40°, Sam is so fucking happy he’s planning to go for a walk at one of his favorite parks followed by a quick trip to Wal-Mart for saltines, Claussen dill pickles and a bottle of low-dose aspirin. I’ll hold down the fort here at home because I’m a handicapped and housebound senior citizen. (I’m actually okay with this.)

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I’ve got a terrific variety of FREE FONTS for you today … two font bundles, formal and casual scripts, hand-lettered fonts, a layering font (“Stoneburg”), all kinds of fun display fonts and even a traditional sans serif (“Calps”) that includes 18 weights with matching italics. Download links will appear after the graphic in case you want any or all of these for your private collection. (You’re welcome.)

Pasteque • Almyra • Calps • Marvin • Ciscopic • Manus • CM Bundle • Reich • Asma

Meow Script • Lea Serif • Zigzageo • Penguin Grins • Stoneburg • Musk Duo

Mukadua • Little Font Bundle

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I managed to snag a bunch of excellent freebies this week … three dozen seamless watercolor floral backgrounds, an excellent collection of assorted paper textures and some gorgeous green and white swirly paint backgrounds. As always, I have no idea if, how or when I’ll ever use any of these … but I love free shit!

I’ve got two vocabulary words for you today at no extra charge! The first is balebuste, which translates as an excellent homemaker or wife, and the second is batamt, which means delicious … or anything you really enjoy. Look for more Yiddish lessons in upcoming Howdygram posts. TELL YOUR FRIENDS!

I’ll begin my Winter Olympics recap with everybody’s favorite sport, PAIRS FIGURE SKATING, an event that wrapped up last night with the long program and medals. Unfortunately, American pair ALEXA SCIMECA KNIERIM and CHRIS KNIERIM — yes, they’re married — wound up in 15th place after a couple of abysmal performances that included multiple ass-plants on the ice and a bevy of stupid mistakes. Also, they’re not a particularly attractive couple (I’m just saying) but I’m pretty sure the judges aren’t allowed to deduct any points for looking like goons.

Skaters ALJONA SAVCHENKO and BRUNO MASSOT of Germany won gold for a strong performance that featured their crowd-pleasing “flying crotch” lift. Canadian pair MEAGAN DUHAMEL and ERIC RADFORD won bronze.

Last night’s Olympic competitions also included the skeleton (idiots hurling themselves head-first down an ice-covered track at 80 m.p.h.), downhill skiing, and American SHAUN WHITE winning the men’s halfpipe snowboard event … again. (After competing in four Olympics it’s probably time for this annoying show-off to retire already.)

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I think I have to eat lunch now. Thank you for reading this.