Sunday, May 21, 2017

Saturday was a little rocky for me.

Hi, people, and happy Sunday morning from Howdygram headquarters! It’s 3:15 a.m. and I’ve been nursing a “bleeder” for the last two hours. TWO HOURS! When you take a blood thinner (Coumadin) even a teeny little nick with a cuticle scissors can turn into a scene from M*A*S*H ... and that’s exactly what’s going on here while I try to write this post. I guess I’ll have to wait until my finger stops gushing so I can bandage the goddamn thing and go to bed. I’ve already decided that tonight’s sleeping movie will be How to Marry a Millionaire (1953) starring Lauren Bacall, Marilyn Monroe and Betty Grable. It’s an all-time favorite of mine.

I’ve got a huge assortment of FREE FONTS for you this morning, a really terrific line-up of casual hand-drawn whatnots like “Coffee and Tea,” “Lazy Sunday” and “Strawberry,” very attractive scripts like “Living Colours” and “Charlotte,” interesting display fonts like “Silver Creek” and “Yehey!” plus a cool layering font (“Berg”) that has some fabulous special effects. I also have a pleasant font bundle for you that actually contains more than the five typefaces shown below. Download links will appear after the graphic in case you want some of these for your personal collection. You’re welcome!

Our Public Service Announcement today involves Nathan’s hot dogs — everybody’s favorite Kosher frank — but sadly they’ve got UNEXPECTED SHARDS OF METAL INSIDE and you’re supposed to dump the hot dogs and definitely not eat them.
The U.S. Department of Agriculture said 210,000 pounds of Nathan’s and Curtis brand hot dogs are being recalled due to contamination with extraneous materials, specifically metal. The beef franks were produced on January 26 and have the following labels: 1) 14-ounce sealed film packages containing “Nathan’s SKINLESS 8 BEEF FRANKS” with a use by date of August 19, 2017; and 2) 16-ounce sealed film packages containing “Curtis BEEF MASTER Beef Franks” with a use by date of June 15, 2017.

Customers should throw the hot dogs away, return them to the place of purchase for a refund or exchange or just eat the goddamn metal and stop whining already. With enough mustard and onions you won’t even know the difference.

A nice little thunderstorm just rolled through here. Not too noisy, no wind, nothing severe … but I really enjoyed the sound. And it even looks like we’re expecting more, according to the nitwits at because there’s a bunch of little stormy red blobs splattered on the weather map. The red star denotes Howdygram headquarters. I’m the attractive senior citizen in the window waving her cane. Hi!

I should try to get some sleep. Saturday was a little rocky for me, and I think I might not be feeling 100%. For instance, my knees are killing me, my lungs are making weird wheezy noises — it almost sounds like people are talking in another room! — and a couple of times yesterday I felt like I would FAINT walking from room to room. I hate this shit! I’m still having bladder control issues, too. And I think I should add that all of these complaints are just as hard on Sam, who has to mop up my accidental pish, watch me shlep with my cane, lean on furniture until I catch my breath, and so on. (Now you know why I never leave the house. I’m a wreck.)

Thank you, as always, for reading this.

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