Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Open for business ... our Clots “R” Us Do-It-Yourself Blood Clot Clinic.

Shalom, good morning and hi-de-ho to you and yours on this dismal Tuesday morning in north Texas. It’s really, really overcast right now. There’s no rain in the forecast, though, so I guess we’ll just have to deal with clouds. Meh.

I’ve got a packed to-do list today. I’d like to share it with you because this is my blog and I can write whatever the hell I want. Deal with it, okay?

BREAK A FEW LEGS AT ASHLEY FURNITURE. We’re still trying to return a pair of “Mariana” table lamps that I ordered online about a week ago (see my previous post). Sam attempted to return them yesterday at Ashley’s warehouse in south Mesquite — which we were directed to do by an Einstein in Ashley’s customer service department — but they turned him away at the front desk because he didn’t have an “appointment” and a “confirmation email.” I tried to set this up yesterday but nobody called me back, so today I’ll make sure Ashley gets this done or I’ll have to hire a fucking GOON SQUAD. Even better ... I’ll get Sam to make the call! When he’s pissed off like this he’s absolutely unbeatable.

IT’S TIME TO CHECK MY COAGULATION SPEED at Howdygram headquarters’ popular Clots “R” Us Do-It-Yourself Blood Clot Clinic. When I started taking Coumadin (a blood thinner so I won’t have a stroke) a couple of years ago I bought myself the same fancy-ass testing equipment that my doctor’s office has — a $750 Coagu-Chek XS meter with overpriced test strips and a bag of finger-stabby things — so I don’t have to keep shlepping back and forth to the lab every time I need a retest, which can be as often as once a week. That would be a huge inconvenience for a handicapped senior citizen such as yours truly who can’t walk any more and has to be stuffed into a car and pushed in a wheelchair.
Today’s result, in case you’re interested, was 1.8, which is a little too low. A normal reading is supposed to be between 2 and 3. I sent the results by email to Dr. M, and her assistant will probably call this afternoon and tell me to take an extra half-pill of Coumadin once a week and test again in seven days. Which means I should buy myself another canister of test strips on eBay (six strips for about $40) because I only have two left. It’s always something.

EAT LOX AND BAGELS. Sam bought a gigantic slab of wafer-thin smoked salmon at Costco a couple of days ago, so we’re presently gorging on our all-time favorite meal: LOX AND CREAM CHEESE ON TOASTED BAGELS. No, sorry, you CANNOT come over and eat with us. Maybe next time, okay?

I actually have lots more to write about but I’m definitely ready for a late-morning nap because I’ve been awake since 3 a.m. and I’m so tired I could fall off my chair. I do want to mention one thing, though. Yesterday afternoon I had a weird issue with my iMac that scared the shit out of me. All the emails in my inbox disappeared! I wrestled with this for about an hour until I finally tried restoring the Mac’s Mail software using Time Machine ... except I kept getting an error message that OS X won’t let me to do this. Even so, after three tries my inbox started filling up again with more than 7,800 emails dating back to 2014 ... most of which I’d trashed a long time ago. The problem is ... I don’t know how this happened and I don’t know how I fixed it!

Thank you for reading this.

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