Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Am I the only one who thinks Donald Trump resembles the nutsack of an orangutan?

Yo. I should be asleep right now, but severe exhaustion never stopped me from writing Howdygram posts in the past, so why start now? I’ll just keep going until I run out of words or my head hits the keyboard. Bear with me. (If I stop typing just give me a nudge.)

First things first. I’ve got an update! After 72 hours of stress and frustration — mostly Sam’s — and two insanely long periods on hold, I finally got through to a customer service agent at Ashley Furniture who agreed to let us ship back the pair of “Mariana” table lamps we want to return [see my previous posts here and here] totally free via UPS. Five minutes later she emailed a prepaid UPS shipping label and Sam was finally smiling again. But only temporarily ... 
About hour ago, right before he taped up the “Mariana” box to go to the UPS store, Sam decided to put together one of the new “Redella” lamps and discovered THE HARPS AND FINIALS WERE MISSING FROM THE CARTON. In a stroke of genius, however, we rescued Sam from the edge of hysteria by deciding to steal from Peter to pay Paul. In other words, we swiped the harps and finials from the “Mariana” lamps, sealed the box and shipped the goddamn things back to Ashley. End of story!
I’ll take a few pictures in the family room after we get the new lamp in place so you can see what’s what ... but I hope you’ll feel free to continue your normal routine in the meantime.

Here are a few more semi-thrilling FREE FONTS for you, just in time for your holiday grab-bag! “Winner” is actually a bonanza, so-to-speak, featuring seven different weights with seven widths for each. Too bad it’s not very inspiring ... and it’s useless, too, unless you write a daily sports blog. On the other hand I think you’ll like “Savanight,” ”Priscilla” and “Ardilla” a lot more, mostly because both scripts are very cool with lots of curlicue alternate letters and swashy things. Download links appear after the graphic but I won’t be offended if you don’t want any of them. (I’m not sure I want them all, either. I have so many of these goddamn things now.)

President-elect Donald Trump HATES the following picture of himself — in which he resembles the nutsack of an orangutan — to such a degree that he’s threatening to murder any media outlet that uses it. Therefore please share it with as many people as possible. If you’d rather just link to this Howdygram post you can copy and paste the following URL.
And as long as I’m on the subject, I hope you’ll consider signing a petition on demanding A COMPLETE FIFTY-STATE AUDIT OF THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. Jill Stein’s three-state recount, Trump’s factless and absurd accusation that “millions” of votes were fraudulent, and admitted interference by a foreign government (Russia) makes it essential to verify the election results before Inauguration Day. Kindly click the link below to sign and ask your friends and relatives to spread the word, okay?

Thank you for reading this. Seriously.

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