Wednesday, May 4, 2016

The Jenner Formerly Known as Bruce will appear nude on the cover of Sports Illustrated this summer.

As I sit here tonight with two screaming toes on my miserable left foot I’m reminded that there are actually worse things in life than diabetic peripheral neuropathy. And this would include Sarah Palin. So here’s Moosezilla herself — the former half-term governor of Alaska and failed vice presidential candidate who’s all dolled-up like she just finished shootin’ pool — tossing some “puckarious” word salad on her Facebook page in support of that revolutionary new leader of U.S. Americans, Donald J. Trump!

So, now, after participatin’ in some really healthy, kinda arduous competition, now, more than ever, it’s time to come together and put some differences aside. Stand on principle. That principle that yeah, we have an opportunity to Make America Great Again.

Bitch must’ve been smacked in the head with a snowmobile at a very early age because there’s no other excuse for this. (Her family is stupid, too.)

Hey, look, ma! MORE FREE FONTS! Here are several brand new gems for you ... three scripts, a semi-drunk slab serif, and a trio of hand-drawn comicky things. Are these great, or what? “Sweet Sorrow” and “Mist” have lots of jazzy letter combinations, “Rafka Script” is fun and casual, and “Sanek” doesn’t know if it’s Rooskie or Latin because it pretty much represents both alphabets. “Drawntastic,” “Dunkel Meister” and “Gurillo” were extracted from a premium 128-font bundle that includes 13 styles for every font (bold, italic, condensed, expanded, etc.). I was only interested in the three I’m listing here because the rest were either ugly, illegible or too much like other fonts I already have. I’ll include download links after the graphic in case you want to gift any of these for Mother’s Day* or keep them for your own collection. (*Maybe you should throw in a couple of Hershey bars, too.)

The Jenner Formerly Known as Bruce will appear on a summer cover of Sports Illustrated this year wearing “nothing but an American flag and her Olympic medal.” The medal is about three inches in diameter. Let’s try and guess what it’s supposed to cover.

In case you’ve been living in a cave for the last few decades, the 66-year-old star of TV’s “I Am Cait” set a world decathlon record in 1976 at the Montreal Summer Olympic Games and then spent the next 10 years on a Wheaties box. To celebrate the 40th anniversary of his her Olympic win he she will pose with his her gold medal for the first time since he she decided to start wearing stilettos and makeup in public. I think that was the most annoying paragraph I’ve ever written.

Thank you for reading this. I’d like to hang out here and write more but it’s almost midnight and time to take a shitload of meds and inject a bunch of insulin. It’s a full life, isn’t it?

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