Tuesday, March 15, 2016

I want to know why nobody has thrown a few bricks at Trump’s head.

It’s 5:45 a.m. and there’s huge news this morning from Howdygram headquarters: MY LEFT FOOT DOESN’T HURT. Not my heel, not my baby toe ... nothing. The relief is so damn shocking and unexpected that I don’t know what to do with myself! Maybe I can finally stop taking extra pain pills and get back to a normal sleeping schedule in bed with Sam as opposed to sleeping on the chaise in the family room with William Powell movies. My life has been weird for a very, very long time.

In case you’d like to start planning your fall vacation, the theme of the 2016 State Fair of Texas is “Celebrating Texas Agriculture” and the event runs from September 30 through October 23 at Fair Park here in Dallas.
We’ve got the biggest state fair in the U.S.A. and the Fair Park venue is worth a trip all by itself. It includes several world-class museums, beautifully landscaped grounds, the Cotton Bowl stadium and Big Tex, a gigantic fake cowboy at the entrance who’s five stories tall and scares the crap out of everybody.
Now that Texans can open-carry their asssault weapons everywhere this year’s fair should be the best one yet. However please try not to take too long paying for your corn dog or the drunk asshole behind you will blow your head off. I’m just saying.

Chris Christie had another seriously embarrassing day yesterday thanks to his new boss, Führer Donald Trump, who once again used Christie as his personal punching bag.
Check out this video clip to see for yourself what I’m talking about. At an Ohio campaign stop Trump took a stab at Governor John Kasich by noting that he sucked so bad as governor he might even be worse than Chris Christie. Christie was standing off to Trump’s side, forcing a weak smile as he was mocked on national television by the man he endorsed for president. It was surreal.

I want to know why nobody has thrown a few bricks at Trump’s head. HE’S SUCH AN ASSHOLE!

I need sleep and I need it NOW. Maybe I’ll come back later to write another post, okay? In the meantime ... adios!

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