Thursday, February 18, 2016

Please shut the light when you’re through here and join me in the family room for a movie.

Happy Thursday, people. I’m sucking on a Russell Stover sugar-free chocolate and caramel thing — with Rice Krispies in it! — with a nice can of diet ginger ale on the side, wondering if I really have very much to write about today due to not having done anything of consequence except sleep through two Margaret Rutherford movies. I suppose I can always fall back on the latest horseshit from the 2016 Republican clown car. There’s ALWAYS plenty of material spewing from the GOP.

But first ... a few more FREE FONTS just in case you’re as addicted as I am. I’ve got six for you today. None of them is particularly magnificent, to tell you the truth (notice how I used the correct verb?), but I’m beginning to appreciate “Greatesque” and “Ikra Slab” for strange and inexpicable reasons. Download links will appear after the graphic. FYI: “Ikra Slab,” “Curely” and “Melma” are all part of a very nice 30-font bundle in the same download. These were the only three I wanted for my collection; you may like different ones. (You’re welcome.)

Let’s take another up-close-and-personal look at Republican presidential primary candidate Jeb Bush, whose campaign has been circling the drain for months. Yesterday we found a sad and discouraged Jeb at a rally in South Carolina ... clearly so distraught that supporters in the audience felt compelled to hold an INTERVENTION.

The former Florida governor looked dejected and frustrated as he paced around on the stage and said: “It’s all decided, I mean we don’t have to go vote I guess, it’s all finished. I should stop campaigning maybe, huh? Let’s just ... it’s all done!”
At that point multiple members of the audience decided to give the former Florida governor tips on how to fix his campaign. “Your message doesn’t resonate with the national community. I was wondering if you could raise the bar in the next session and try to be beyond the bully because they try to knock you off center.” They told him to shout back at Donald Trump and not look like such a dumbstruck nebbish on the teevee. Very sound advice, Jeb!

And there was also widespread concern (and hilarious trolling) on Tuesday after Jeb posted the following message on Twitter with an idiotic photo of his engraved pistol. “Oh, no! Don’t do it, Jeb! DON’T DO IT!”
Jeb’s campaign immediately had to clarify that it was NOT a desperate plea for help and that he wasn’t planning to blast his fucking brains out all over his hoodie. (I am not joking about this.) And Jeb’s press secretary, Kristy Campbell, asked CBS News to apologize for its report that Twitter was begging Jeb not to end it all just because his pathetic presidential campaign was polling at less than 1%. STOP IT! HE’S NOT ON THE EDGE, OKAY?

To make matters even worse, on Wednesday South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley decided to endorse Marco Robot despite ongoing pleas from Jeb and his daddy and his brother. Marco can’t win the South Carolina primary, either, but at least he’s not as goddamned awful as Jeb. You can probably imagine Jeb’s crushing disappointment, though, after spending so much time and money there, drooling all over Governor Haley like a psychotic ex-boyfriend who can’t believe you’re dating somebody else. “Disappointed,” Bush told reporters after Haley announced her endorsement. “She’s a very good governor and should I win the nomination, there’ll be a role for her in the campaign.” Meh. I don’t think she cares, Jeb.

Jeb also lost a battle with technology and took it out on 150 poor slobs who felt sorry enough for him to show up at a local country club last night and listen to a speech. While he spoke to the crowd the microphone on his lapel stopped working, and when a supporter yelled that he couldn’t hear him, Jeb snapped back, “I can’t do anything about it! I have to keep talking!”

No, Jeb, you really don’t ...

Ever wonder what winter is like at Howdygram headquarters? Here in north Texas we usually enjoy very pleasant bug-free spring weather for most of our winter months, as evidenced by the following forecast screen shot from Tomorrow the temperature will creep up near 80° here; on Sunday we’re expecting thunderstorms! This is totally excellent even though I never leave the house due to mobility issues and being a handicapped senior citizen with shitty knees. (I can still enjoy nice weather from our large and lovely windows.)

Breaking news! Donald Trump and his presidential campaign sideshow are in the middle of a Twitter war with (ready for this?) POPE FRANCIS. This is just too much already. The Pope proclaimed that Trump’s bigotry, rhetoric and obvious hatred of immigrants are not Christian; Trump fired back with a full-tilt Pope-hating meltdown ... complete with threats and multiple exclamation points. And then the New York Daily News tweeted the following preview of tomorrow’s hilarious cover story!
Is anybody else ready for this ridiculous three-ring circus to be over yet? Holy crap.

Thanks a million for stopping by tonight. Please shut the light when you’re through here and join me in the family room for a movie. Sam just got home from work and wants to watch The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947) starring Gene Tierney and Rex Harrison with popcorn. Or maybe The Court Jester (1955) starring Danny Kaye.

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