Dear mainstream Republicans: Please do not confuse “establishment” with “moderate.” Thank you.

I’m having a fight with myself this afternoon and maybe you can help me out. Do I want to sit at my desk and write a Howdygram post with a can of diet ginger ale, or should I migrate back into the family room for my second nap of the day? To be honest with you I’m leaning towards option number two — the nap — because I didn’t sleep well last night and my entire body hurts due to a weather front that rolled through here. Today it’s 42° with a lot of wind and rain. The red star on the map (see below) denotes Howdygram headquarters. If you zoom in I’m the old lady with a cane who’s snarling out the window.

For the record, arthritic senior citizens such as yours truly absolutely HATE shit weather like this. Just give me a cup of rat poison already and let’s be done with it, okay? Fuck.

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It’s time for another Putz of the Week! This time we’re honoring Marco Robot Rubio, the first-term senator from Florida and 2016 GOP clown car passenger who hasn’t bothered to show up for work or cast a vote in the Senate since sometime last year. He’s also one of those delusional assholes who considers a third-place finish “momentum” and gives a victory speech when he loses a primary. Seriously.

Economist Paul Krugman has an interesting view on the Republican presidential race. “Marco Rubio has yet to win anything, but by losing less badly than other non-Trump candidates he has become the overwhelming choice of the Republican establishment.”

Trump, of course, would probably have a stroke about this because he doesn’t acknowledge any “degrees of losers.” There’s first place and nothing after that. He considers losers of any stripe inconsequential and insists the only real race will be himself and Hillary Clinton.

But back to little Marco. Once upon a time in 2012 he was called a “wunderkind” by the Republican Party, which is German for a child prodigy or “wonder child.” But he wasn’t really a wunderkind back then ... and he isn’t one now, either. He’s just all the GOP establishment can pin their hopes on. The situation is totally grim.

Even though Krugman won’t predict Rubio’s chances, he makes a solid observation that everybody should consider immediately: DO NOT CONFUSE “ESTABLISHMENT” WITH “MODERATE.” Rubio’s policies absolutely push him to the “fringe crank” territory and include torching civil liberties, destroying women’s rights and a tax plan that would bankrupt the United States and allow Mitt Romney to pay no federal income tax.

Or as Kevin Drum at Mother Jones once put it: RUBIO IS A MORON. That was actually a comment he made last summer, when Marco was drooling all over himself trying to find a position on whether Dubya’s invasion of Iraq was a mistake. Today we have to add to that his lacking work ethic, a recent example being his failure to even show up for his own rallies in South Carolina. Drum said, “Most of the time he sounds like a ten-year-old trying to sound tough in front of the older kids.”

If Rubio ever managed to beat Trump for the GOP nomination, what the Democrats did to clueless Mitt Romney in 2012 would pale by comparison to the pounding Rubio would face over his stupidity, embarrassing work record in the Senate and vast collection of idiotic statements. It might actually be fun to watch. With popcorn.

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I’ve got more excellent FREE FONTS for you today, people! I was especially thrilled to find “Ave Fedan” this morning on BeFonts.com, which is the bold version of a new font — “Ave Utan” — that I posted here a few days ago. There’s a medium-weight out there somewhere, too, and if I find it you’ll be the first to know. FYI, download links will appear below the graphic.

Bromello • Ave Fedan • Playlist Fonts

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And finally, to wrap up today’s post I’ve got a priceless music video from YouTube featuring the arrested and jailed members of the notorious Cliven Bundy crime family. Enjoy! (In case you’re wondering where you heard this song before, they’re singing the big hit finale from “The Producers.”)



Have a swell day.