Friday, January 22, 2016

Diabetics need chocolate, too.

Good morning and a happy, sunny Friday from your friends at Howdygram headquarters! It’s a little on the chilly side around here today (only 39° at 10 a.m.) but we’re expecting such a glorious warm-up that I’m willing to tolerate an extra sweater for a day or two. Here’s a screenshot of our latest 10-day forecast to make you jealous.

My visiting nurse will be here today. Mondays and Fridays she shows up between noon and 1 p.m.; on Wednesdays she comes in the morning around 9. For those of you who haven’t been following my ongoing health issues, Karen is treating a number of really disgusting leaking pressure sores on the back of my thighs with medicated goo, large gauze dressings and a mountain of surgical tape that mostly sticks to my bathrobe. After two weeks of constant attention I’m pleased to report that my sores are beginning to heal, which means we’re on the right track and Karen is ready to show Sam what to do so he can take over as caregiver by the middle of next week. Oh boy, right?

However there’s good news and bad news about my appointment last Tuesday with Dr. M. The good news is, she examined the rock-hard swollen “cantaloupe” on my left thigh and pronounced that it’s NOT an infection or cellulitis and I don’t need any industrial-strength antibiotics to get rid of it. And the bad news? The swelling is actually a rather extreme case of edema and there’s not much anybody can do about it unless I want a vascular surgeon to recommend ripping out a few “troubling veins.” (Yeah, right. When pigs fly.)

So the bottom line is ... I’m not going to feel better and this is as good as it gets. Welcome to reality, people. My sunset years.

Shut up and pass the popcorn. I want to watch my Pollyanna DVD this afternoon. You know, the Disney movie from 1960 starring Hayley Mills, Jane Wyman and one-cent slabs of layer cake at the town fair.

I’ve had a productive and busy afternoon downloading a ton of free shit from, the best website on the planet not counting Amazon. Today’s haul is impressive and features several gorgeous scripts and quirky display fonts. My personal favorites are “Kandel,” “Wishes Script” and “Barque.” I’ll include download links after the graphic so you can add these to your own collection and share them with your friends and neighbors.

Breaking news from your diabetic blogger in north Texas: I JUST BLEW $25 ON RUSSELL STOVER SUGAR-FREE CHOCOLATES. I ordered two bags of chocolate-covered marshmallows, a bag of fake Almond Joy things, a box of assorted stale creams, faux turtles, pretty good peanut butter cups and a new confection called “Caramel & Crispies” that’s basically a wad of chocolate-covered caramel with Rice Krispies. Holy shit. I WANT THAT FOR DINNER TONIGHT!
Ordering online from Russell Stover is an excellent experience and shipping is free if you spend $25 or more. I highly recommend their milk chocolate Easter bunnies.

One final thought before I melt into a gorgeous nap in the family room. Here’s a video clip of Comedy Central’s Chris Hardwick lampooning Sarah Palin’s incomprehensible rant when she endorsed Donald Trump this week in Iowa. This is definitely worth two minutes of your time!

Thank you for your support and don’t forget to turn out the lights when you’re through here. Give my regards to the family, okay?

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