Friday, November 27, 2015

To the rescue: Marcy’s World-Famous Senior Citizen Thanksgiving Bowl.

So it’s 1:15 a.m. on the day after Thanksgiving — known to Americans far and wide as BLACK FUCKING FRIDAY — and I’m here to provide a complete rundown of my favorite food-centric holiday in real words. First, however, you should know that it’s been pouring here since mid-afternoon yesterday and the current map from clearly illustrates what’s what right now. The yellow and orange thunderstorms are moving due east in the general direction of that teeny red star, which denotes Howdygram headquarters along with an actual photograph. The big hoo-hah will begin here in about 15 minutes.

And now the lastest news from our National Restaurant Chain That Tried to Destroy Thanksgiving department. I’m referring to Boston Market, of course, because Sam and I had ordered their mediocre and insanely overpriced Thanksgiving heat & serve dinner for six. Except when Sam got to the restaurant at noon to pick up our sack of food there were two long lines of crabby people stretching out the door and into the parking lot, and after 35 minutes of standing in one spot and making zero progress toward the pick-up window Sam called to tell me HE WAS NOT ENJOYING THANKSGIVING SO FAR and do I have any helpful ideas. I told him YOU BETCHA ... bail out and come home* because we’ve already got plenty of great crap to eat around here, including frozen spring rolls from Costco with sauce and canned Hormel tamales. So he came home!

We didn’t really do spring rolls or tamales for dinner, however ... around 6 p.m. I suggested Marcy’s World-Famous Senior Citizen Thanksgiving Bowl made with all of the following ingredients that we stock in our pantry. Sam did the cooking.
*In case you’re wondering, Boston Market doesn’t ask for pre-payment when you order a holiday heat & serve dinner ... you pay when you pick it up. Now THAT’S something to be thankful for!

It happened again on Thanksgiving, people [see earlier post]. I BLACKED OUT AFTER MY MID-DAY DOSE OF METOPROLOL. I stood up from the couch in the family room for a trip to the bathroom but only made it three steps away before I shrieked, fell over sideways, landed on the chaise lounge and woke up four hours later. I don’t know for sure if I actually fainted or not, but I’m guessing I probably did. I HATE THIS. Sam made me promise to call the cardiologist today (Friday) to find out what he wants me to do because suddenly I’ve developed a long list of scary and annoying side effects.

Thank you for your support.

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