Wednesday, November 11, 2015

I don’t think I should be deprived of Sam’s feet more than two nights in a row.

Well, fuckity fuckity fuck! It’s 7:45 Wednesday night and Sam just called to let me know he’ll be at work again for the third night in a row until 4 o’clock in the morning. I HATE THIS. I want Sam to come home right now to eat snacks, watch a couple of William Powell movies and get some decent sleep. As for moi, I JUST WANT TO PLAY WITH SAM’S FEET. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, do you? I’m a desperate senior citizen with health issues and I don’t think I should be deprived of Sam’s feet more than two nights in a row.

We were supposed to get hit with severe thunderstorms this morning (an 80% chance) followed by 24 hours of high winds. had big scary — and yellow! — high wind alerts slapped all over our online forecast page but so far it’s just been an ordinary Wednesday, slightly cloudy and barely breezy, with temperatures in the low 70s. BIG FUCKING DEAL. Our next chance for real weather starts on Sunday, as indicated on the following dopey graphic. (The artistic red rectangles are mine.)

I recently joined Facebook for the very first time. I didn’t really want to, but after mom died in July I decided to give it a shot and hunt around for some people from the past. IT ACTUALLY WORKED. Not only did I reconnect with friends from middle school and high school, I’ve even been reconnecting with relatives all over U.S. America! Two favorite relatives in particular are Uncle Sherwin — my father’s younger brother — who recently celebrated his 90th birthday, and Uncle Sherwin’s grandson Steve, who lives in Chicago with his husband and an adorable little daughter named Eve who likes frozen yogurt.

I have NOT reconnected with my sister, however. We haven’t spoken to each other in years because SNOTTY ANNOYING GIRLFRIENDS — hers, not mine! — keep sticking their noses where they don’t belong. But that’s a story for another day. Maybe.

Today’s the day to blow your dough at HSN, people. They’ve got piles of exciting bargains and deals, including lots of products available on Flexpay in case you routinely spend money you haven’t got. A few of HSN’s exciting products and deals include a compact of 14 Smashbox eye shadows in shitty colors for only $52, a gigantic Heidi Daus completely fake “Regal Rhapsody” statement ring for $99, and a large multi-color Vince Camuto leather satchel for $248 with zippers, pockets, feet, handles, straps and wings. Meh.
While I’m pretty sure most of you will love all the swell sale-priced whatnots on HSN’s website, I don’t get worked up about products like this any more. As a handicapped senior citizen in a wheelchair who doesn’t leave the house except for a doctor appointment or a trip to the lab I definitely don’t need a purse for my Blue Cross I.D. card, I don’t need gaudy jewelry and I certainly don’t need any black glitter eye shadow. I don’t even need a brassiere or shoes!

Thank you for dropping in. Don’t forget to turn out the lights when you’re through here, okay?

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