Free fonts always cheer me up.

I’m not having a very swell day today. My complaints du jour include: 1) shortness of breath; 2) my feet keep falling asleep; 3) I’ve got raw skin on the back of both thighs that sometimes bleeds for no reason; 4) knee pain; and 5) I can’t think of anything else. Frankly, I’d rather be in bed for a nice, juicy late afternoon nap than writing a Howdygram post right now. We’ll see what happens. If I disappear for a couple of hours I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out.

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Know what always cheers me up besides sugar-free Jell-O and playing with Sam’s feet? NEW FREE FONTS! I just visited a couple of my favorite websites — FontScore and FontSpace — and snagged a handful of really swell typefaces for my obscenely enormous collection. Send me an email if you like any of these and I’ll be glad to share the files. (You’re welcome.)

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If you’re from Chicago — like me, in case you didn’t know — you’ll get a kick out of Lou Malnati’s Tastes of Chicago website, where you can load up on all the unforgettable Windy City health foods you’ve been missing for the last few decades of your life, such as Lou Malnati’s deep dish pizza, Vienna hot dogs, Portillo’s Italian beef, Maxwell Street Polish sausage, Eli’s Cheesecake and chocolates from Fannie Mae. Today’s big Tastes of Chicago hoo-hah is Eli’s Cheesecake due to Thursday being NATIONAL CHEESECAKE DAY, a religious holiday I can no longer celebrate because I have diabetes. Please eat a cheesecake for me. (Thank you.)

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Tomorrow marks the last leg of our big 2015 Summer Remodeling Event. Gary-the-Handyman will be back bright and early to tackle all of his remaining projects, including:

• Paint two accent walls in the family room
• Regrout and recaulk the shower/tub area in hall bathroom
• Install new cabinet hardware in both bathrooms and the laundry room
• Hang towel rings and towel bars in both bathrooms
• Repair and paint the wall behind the new light fixtures in the master bath 
• Repair a stress crack on the living room ceiling
• Install a recessed ceiling light in the laundry room
• Repair and paint a minor drywall fuckup in the laundry room
• Minor paint touch-ups in all rooms as needed
  

In addition ... we’re expecting a glass specialist from Re-Bath to finally install our new custom shower enclosure in the master bathroom this week. They promised delivery by Wednesday and installation by Friday. Due to a variety of mobility issues that prevent me from using the step-in tub in our guest bathroom I haven’t been able to take a shower since Monday, July 6. THAT IS NOT A TYPO and I AM NOT JOKING. If Re-Bath doesn’t install our goddamn glass this week I might have to bludgeon somebody to death with my cane.

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And now it’s time to hose myself off in the bathroom sink (again), wash my hair with a no-rinse shampoo product that’s actually not too bad and wait for Sam to get home from work. Thank you for stopping by. Next time bring snacks.