Welcome to the home of the Ear Wound, the Big Red Nose Bruise and the Screaming Baby Toe.

I am completely upside-down ever since I pulled that screwy all-nighter the day before yesterday. It’s not that I’m turning into a graveyard-shifter or anything, but I find myself conking out for hours on end and I’m never awake long enough to start — or finish — a Howdygram post. I apologize for that. I tried to write a post last night but never got past the lede paragraph. (And it was a good one, too. I might use it again sometime.) Incidentally, Sam is in the same predicament … so at least we’re doing this together!

Senior citizens try to get a grip on the twenty-first century.

My project du jour, which I just finished, involved choosing and organizing cards for my 2018 birthday card list. I design my own greeting cards and order them from my store on Zazzle, mailing about 45 altogether throughout the year to relatives and friends. They’re fucking adorable even if I say so myself, and I’ve got some of the funniest cards on the Internet. I sell a lot of them. Of course I’d be even happier if YOU bought a few, but what the hell … do whatever you want, okay? Some of my designs appear below for your possible interest.