Howdygram tip: Sloppy Italian beef is not something a person should attempt to eat over a computer keyboard.

Hi-de-ho. I woke up from an extended and ill-advised late evening nap around 1 a.m., just in time to see the last 15 minutes of How to Steal a Million (1966) starring Audrey Hepburn and Peter O’Toole and watch sleepwalkin’ Sam shuffle off to bed. Unfortunately I’m having severe skin pain issues right now — the back of both thighs feels like somebody’s blasting them with a blow torch, plus I have those three goddamn leaking pressure sores — so I have to bounce up and down on my chair every couple of minutes to get comfortable. This is both exhausting and exceptionally stupid.

As a mostly-crippled housebound senior citizen I never thought I’d eat an Italian beef sandwich again.

It’s 3 a.m. and I thought I’d try to squeeze in a speedy Howdygram post before I go to bed. On the other hand, I’m not actually tired in any way whatsoever right now and might wind up pulling an all-nighter due to seven hours of exceptionally gratifying naps on Friday and then sleeping through Gone with the Wind (1939) starring Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh. After reading this paragraph twice I have no idea what this even means. Jesus.