THE BAYLOR HOUSECALLS UPDATE. It’s Tuesday morning now, and I’ve got the scoop you’ve been waiting for! Yesterday Baylor sent a medical assistant (Nora) and a nurse practitioner (Anthonia), who spent almost 90 minutes here taking my complete medical history, verifying my meds, checking my vitals and asking a bunch of questions. I also got a flu shot. And I’m now on the list to see Anthonia every two to four weeks, and if I get sick in-between I have a number to call for an emergency at-home appointment. THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING! Baylor will also send me a podiatrist four times a year to examine my diabetic feet, and — drum roll! — they even have a VISITING OPTOMETRIST who will do an eye exam and fit me for new glasses every year … RIGHT HERE AT HOME! Can you believe this? Sam and I were so happy we were almost in tears. In addition, Baylor can provide at-home x-rays and send specialists to my house as needed for routine checkups, such as a kidney doctor or cardiologist. I’ll never have to go to the doctor again. Somebody pinch me!
Incidentally, Anthonia prescribed a new pain medication for me! In addition to Hydrocodone, which I’ve been taking for several years, I’ll also start Tramadol later in the week, as soon as I wean myself off of another prescription (Amitriptyline) that could interact with it. Tramadol is for serious chronic pain and works like a narcotic. I love narcotics. They’re better than food.
My next home visit will be Tuesday, September 26.
Sam is at Wal-Mart right now picking up a few senior citizen essentials … Diet Sunkist and Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper in cans, white bread, my favorite chicken lunch meat, a new kitchen sponge and my Tramadol prescription at the pharmacy. The rest of our Tuesday will be quiet and routine with meals and nice long naps. Incidentally, I think I’ve got a new urinary tract infection brewing and if I don’t feel any better by late afternoon I’ll call my nurse practitioner so she can set up an at-home pishing test for me and prescribe an antibiotic. It’s such a relief to know that my mobility difficulties won’t stand in the way of good and speedy health care any more. Yee-haw and glory hallelujah, brother!
To celebrate I decided to order a bunch of excellent crap online today, including a loofah sponge on a very nice wooden stick, a bunch of clear suction hooks for inside the shower, Wal-Mart’s store brand body wash with Himalayan sea salt — every bit as good as Dial but 30% cheaper! — and (not pictured) all kinds of salty snacks and cheese crackers.
Once again it’s time for a nice late-morning nap following by a nice late lunch. Sam already has a head start, so I’ll have to hurry to catch up with him!
Thank you for reading this and please do your best to remember the goddamn Alamo.
No comments:
Post a Comment