Happy anniversary to Sam and me.

Happy Sunday to you and yours! Today is a big hoo-hah at Howdygram headquarters for the following essential reasons. One, Hurricane Irma is giving Florida a blow job, and two, Sam and I are celebrating our wedding anniversary. (These two events are not entirely unrelated, by the way.) Sam and I were married 11 years ago today at an Al Capone-themed wedding chapel in Las Vegas followed by a lot of Chinese food. Stop laughing.

We’ve decided to commemorate our big day today in a number of thrilling ways, including: 1) Sam rented a Bissell carpet shampooer from Lowe’s; 2) naps; 3) enjoying a couple of good movies; 4) discussing if I can order dinner tonight from King China; and 5) trying to remember how to operate our new DVD player without fucking up the settings on our TV.

The “couple of good movies” mentioned above were The Mummy (1932) starring Boris Karloff and David Manners, and Red Dust (1932) starring Jean Harlow, Clark Gable, Mary Astor and Gene Raymond. If you’ve never seen these films you’re missing out on a couple of stellar classics. I’ve seen Red Dust so many times I can recite it! Incidentally, this would be an excellent day to watch Key Largo (1948) starring Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Lionel Barrymore and Edward G. Robinson. It’s a film noir thriller set in the Florida Keys during a hurricane. Almost like real life except with movie stars!

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And now it’s once again time for a quick pee and a long nap (in that order) so I can wake up in time to order Chinese food for dinner. I’m considering Dragon and Phoenix (spicy hot shrimp alongside General Tso’s Chicken) and possibly an order of Szechwan String Beans.

Thank you for reading this … and please pass the soy sauce!