News flash! A 60-inch media console is actually big enough to hold a 68-inch flat screen TV.

So here’s what’s going on at Howdygram headquarters today ... in neatly-subtitled paragraphs with occasional pictures so you won’t get bored. Thank you.

SAM IS ON HIS WAY TO CALIFORNIA RIGHT NOW. If you’re a regular Howdygram visitor you’ll know that Sam flies west once a year to spend a few days visiting relatives and a sprinkling of old friends. The flight is always free — thanks to the points on our Southwest Airlines Visa card — so Sam is treating himself to The Garland in North Hollywood, a gorgeous “retro” hotel that’s spitting distance from Universal Studios (if that’s what you want to spit at). And FYI ... North Hollywood is Sam’s actual home town. Some of his planned activities include smiling a lot, eating things, frequent sleeping, maybe a trip to the beach, walking around, reminiscing, readjusting to ridiculous traffic, calling me on Face Time and kissing his aunts.

IMPORTANT FURNITURE UPDATE IN CASE YOU GIVE A CRAP. In my last post I think I mentioned that Sam and I are buying a new home theater system for the family room plus a huge media console. (I love new furniture.) However the console I wanted from Rooms-To-Go won’t work for us due to none of the goddamn shelves are big enough for the Dish Network’s oversized DVR, which is 16½" wide. (Yes, Sam stopped in at Rooms-To-Go after work on Wednesday and measured for me.) So I moved on to Plan B: The Ashley Furniture Homestore’s website, where I found several excellent candidates ... all with MATCHING COFFEE TABLES! I finally narrowed it down to the following beautiful set. It’s called “Hamlyn.”

The media console is 60" wide x 20" deep x 36½" high with twin cubbies on the top shelf measuring 26¾" wide each, so that’s more than enough room for that huge Dish Network DVR and a DVD player. The coffee table is 45½" wide x 25½" deep x 20½" high with four real drawers, a lift-top if you want to eat spaghetti and meatballs plus more storage space underneath. And as an added bonus ... the coffee table is on CASTERS. Hoo-boy!

TRY TO LEARN SOMETHING. A 60" media console is actually big enough to hold a 68" flat screen TV. This is important information for Sam especially, since he’ll be in charge of purchasing our new home theater components (a TV and DVD player) at Costco when he gets home from California, and we do NOT want our new TV mounted on the wall like a stuffed moose head. And while I’m at it, a 64" console will hold a 74" TV, and a 72" console will hold an 80" TV. You’re welcome.

YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I ATE FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING. A whole jar of Wal-Mart sugar-free strawberry preserves with a plastic spoon.

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I only have three free fonts for you tonight! Only three! All of them are excellent, however, especially “Esprit,” which includes three different weights and gorgeous italics. “Artstain” and “Tarateeno” are from a bundle of 124 fonts; the download link that appears below the graphic gives you the entire bundle ... and you might find more than two to add to your collection. (I didn’t especially like the rest of them, however.)

Esprit • Artstain and Tarateeno

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Holy crap. It’s almost midnight, I still have to fill my seven-day pill sorter and finish eating dinner. Tonight’s feast: Hormel Compleats Meat Loaf with Mashed Potatoes and Brown Gravy. I love this stuff. (Don’t ask.)

Thank you for reading this. Please do your best to remember the Alamo, okay?