“The Emperor Has No Balls.”

Hi, guys. Y’all may be pleased to know I’m feeling a lot better tonight, and whatever was ailing me got knocked out by lots of drugs, seven hours of sleep and the following images of  hilarious and creepy NAKED DONALD TRUMP STATUES that were unveiled in public areas of major cities all over America on Thursday by the anarchist art collective Indecline. Holy shit, they’re priceless! Trump is represented with a Mussolini face, mountains of flab, the classic old man ass and a grotesque micropenis. The statue is titled “The Emperor Has No Balls.” Enjoy, okay?

---

In an ongoing effort to learn all the features of my new iPhone 5S I’ve been shooting stupid pictures from various indoor vantage points as seen by a housebound senior citizen with mobility issues and a weak bladder. We’ll begin with an image of my desktop in the study, a beautifully clear and brilliantly composed view that includes such essentials as a framed baby picture of Sam, a thing of sugar-free Nesquik, Wal-Mart’s finest plastic forks and spoons, a canister of Manischewitz matzo farfel, assorted drugs and a handy black zipper bag for my insulin and needles.

I feel unbelievably accomplished. I even know how to attach photos to emails and text messages, and I already shot my first video (a four-second pan around the study). I can’t wait to show Sam, although he may not be too impressed because he already thinks I’m a genius.

He’s right.