A sad day for the entire planet.

I was unable to write Howdygram posts for the last few days for the following perfectly acceptable reasons.

I DIDN’T FEEL WELL. Dizzy, nauseated now and then, lots of assorted whiny pain crap (some VERY bad) and I wasn’t feeling inspired enough to write due to ongoing problems with those goddamn leaking pressure sores on the back of my thighs that glue themselves to everything I wear. I can’t even begin to describe how miserable and disgusting this is. And PAINFUL.

I SPENT ALL DAY SUNDAY RECOVERING FROM A VERY BAD SATURDAY NIGHT IN BED that involved smooshing my arthritic knees into an uncomfortable position for six hours and a long list of additional old lady complaints. Don’t ask. Oy.

I DESIGNED BILLIONS OF NEW PRODUCTS FOR THE HOWDYGRAM STORE on Zazzle [shop here] including passport holders, luggage tags and our brand new line of thrilling LUNCH BOXES. In case you give a crap all of our passport holders eventually will have matching luggage tags because women really love shit like that. Here are a smattering of our new designs for your possible interest.

And here’s the scoop about our excellent new lunch boxes — perfect for children and adults! — so you can order them for everybody you know. These are especially wonderful for birthday presents, Hanukkah, back-to-school, welcome home from Costco or just for the hell of it.

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You probably already know ... but Muhammad Ali, the greatest heavyweight champion of all time, died early Saturday morning at age 74 while hospitalized in Phoenix with respiratory problems.

As a boxer Ali won dozens of championships, three heavyweight titles and an Olympic gold medal. He was fast as lightning in the ring with the grace of Rudolf Nureyev. It was during Ali’s first heavyweight championship against Sonny Liston in 1964 that he declared himself “the greatest,” a nickname that stuck for the rest of his life.

In the 1960s Ali’s boxing career screeched to a halt when he was convicted for refusing to serve in Vietnam for his religious beliefs. He was blunt in his explanation: “I ain’t got no quarrel with them Vietcong. They never called me nigger. They never lynched me. They didn’t put no dogs on me.” Damn right, Muhammad!

During the trial Ali was banned from boxing and lost his heavyweight belt, but in 1971 the U.S. Supreme Court overturned his conviction and his title was restored. Ali continued boxing for another ten years and also continued his work in the civil rights movement, in 1990 he helped to negotiate the release of U.S. hostages in a sit-down meeting with Saddam Hussein, and in 2005 Ali was honored with the Presidential Medal of Freedom. One of his last public statements (earlier this year) slammed Donald Trump’s stupid plan to not allow Muslims into the country.

Sam and I loved this guy!

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If you want people to take you seriously there probably is never a good time to endorse Donald Trump for President, but dumbass Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-WI) seemed to pick an especially shitty day to do it last week. Such as 24 hours before Trump escalated his disgusting offensive against U.S. District Judge Gonzalo Curiel, who’s presiding over the fraud case against Trump University. Trump insists that Curiel has a conflict of interest because he’s “Mexican” (he’s not) and Trump wants to build that goddamn ridiculous wall.

Apparently Ryan wasn’t happy and told WISN’s Up Front with Vicki McKenna: “Look, the comment about the judge the other day just was out of left field for my mind. I completely disagree with the thinking behind that.”

Are you kidding? Trump’s entire campaign has been one long, exhausting racist tirade — EVERYTHING HE SAYS IS OUT OF LEFT FIELD! — and he started criticizing Judge Curiel about his ethnicity four months ago. If Ryan believes the attacks were “out of left field” he obviously hasn’t been paying any attention to the orangutan he’s supporting for President. Or to Trump’s openly racist attacks against President Obama for the last eight years.

And with that in mind, the editorial page of the Washington Post described Paul Ryan’s Trump endorsement as a “sad day” for both the Republican Party and the country. Actually ... it’s sad for the entire planet.

Thank you for reading this. I will try very hard to write another post today because I’m falling behind and I hate that.