Sunday, August 13, 2017

Something is amiss here. Sam is sleeping through a monster thunderstorm!

It’s a few minutes past 2 a.m. here, Sam is in bed and I’m SERIOUSLY UNWELL again! There’s no real pain, per se, but my overall complaints include: 1) chills; 2) body aches; 3) uncontrollable pishing every 45 minutes that even wakes me from a sound sleep; 4) migraine headaches due to complaint number three; 5) serious intestinal distress; and 6) a wet rash on several areas of my body that are none of your damn business. Therefore I just took my bedtime meds with 70 units of injected insulin, a pair of Imodium tablets, a juicy dose of Norco — doing my best to prolong the opioid epidemic! — and then poofed myself with Nystatin powder to kill that fucking rash already. Thank you for listening.

HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT. At the moment I have no free fonts for you, no free clipart or high-resolution background patterns, and I haven’t decided yet who should be profiled in my next installment about The Royals … all of which typically comprise the bulk of my Howdygram posts. That said, I can move on now to other subjects! Woo-hoo!

I apologize for the lapse in time here. It’s now Saturday at midnight (I began this post almost 24 hours ago) and something is clearly asmiss at our house. I was unwell this morning, and Sam is unwell tonight! He’s been asleep in bed since 6 p.m., and this is definitely NOT NORMAL for him, especially since he just slept through a huge line of violent thunderstorms with lots of lightning, thunder and heavy rain slamming against the windows. Sam never sleeps through thunderstorms! As a matter of fact, he usually enjoys them from the comfort of our garage with the overhead door open and a bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream, regardless of the time of day. The following map depicts the aforementioned storm just minutes before it plowed into Howdygram headquarters, which is denoted by the red star.
Several hours ago, maybe around 7, I woke up from a nap on the chaise in the family room and called Sam’s name. No answer. I called again. Still no answer. On the third try I finally heard him respond in a tiny voice from the bedroom: “I don’t feel well, Marce. I’m in bed.” Therefore I gave myself permission to fall asleep (again) and woke up at 10:15 — starving, because both of us missed dinner — so I figured I’d better move on to Plan B and fix myself something to eat. I wound up at my desk in the study heating cheapo food in the microwave … a Velveeta Bacon Mac & Cheese Cheesy Bowl (pictured below).

If you read the Howdygram regularly you probably know by now that I’m a housebound senior citizen with a variety of mobility issues that make it impossible to stand in the kitchen and cook things. And it’s the same mobility issues that prevent me from shopping for groceries. I’m in a wheelchair whenever I leave the house, haven’t been inside a supermarket for at least six years and have no idea what’s on store shelves any more. So when I discover something fabulous online I get hysterical. My latest “find” … BARILLA COOKED PASTA IN MICROWAVEABLE POUCHES! Holy shit, people, is this amazing, or what? I ordered four pouches from yesterday (two penne and two rotini; there are four varieties in all) and I’ll do a review after I’ve had a chance to try them. I’m thinking we’ll do the rotini with Classico pasta sauce and a few frozen Italian meatballs, and I’d like to try the penne with a jar of Barilla’s pesto sauce. (Oy. I’m hungry again.) Stay tuned!

That’s all for tonight. Thank you for reading this and please hold a good thought for Sam. He’s still asleep!

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