Sunday, May 21, 2017

I highly recommend teeny microwaves.

Hello again. It’s 2:20 p.m. here in north Texas, and I just woke up about half an hour ago because I didn’t go to bed until 6 a.m., and nothing — neither Sam nor a noisy round of thunderstorms — woke me up. For lunch I just made myself a pouch of Mountain House freeze-dried Spaghetti with Meat Sauce, which is a perfect entree for senior citizens who can’t stand up any more to cook things, plus a tasty bottle of Crystal Light Peach Mango Green Tea. I buy their “singles to go” variety.

Both of these products are FUCKING FABULOUS, and I can make the entire meal while I’m sitting at my desk because I have high-quality plastic cutlery, bottled water and a teeny microwave right next to me. I highly recommend teeny microwaves. You can buy them online from for less than $40.

Today there’s only one … a cute TOTALLY FREE clipart font promoting equality and LGBT rights. If you want to add this to your collection I’ll include the download link after the graphic. You’re welcome.

I thought I’d share three of my recent coffee mug designs for The Howdygram Store on Zazzle’s website. My products are all doing well … especially my line of bridal shower guest books. It’s amazing. And I sell most of them to customers in Canada and England!

Before I head back into the family room for my first nap of the day I want to list all of my physical complaints du jour. They include: 1) burning feet and screaming toes; 2) serious pain in my heels; 3) stiff and painful knees; 4) very fucked-up taste buds; 5) burning skin on the back of both thighs; and 6) I still feel faint most of the time when I try to walk around in the house. On the plus side, at least I don’t feel “wheezy” today and my lungs aren’t making noises from another planet.

And this brings me to today’s line-up of television viewing here at Howdygram headquarters. Yesterday I recorded HBO’s The Wizard of Lies (2017) starring Robert De Niro and Michelle Pfeiffer — the story of evil little Bernie Madoff — and I also want to see Forbidden Planet (1956) starring Walter Pidgeon, Leslie Nielsen and Anne Francis. (Forbidden Planet is stored on our DVR.) Tonight we’ll watch this week’s episode of “Veep” on HBO and “Last Week Tonight” with John Oliver, and after Sam goes to bed I’ll indulge in a favorite guilty pleasure … “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” (I’m serious, so STOP LAUGHING.)

Thank you for reading this.

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