Friday, September 9, 2016

Maybe I’d better stop designing iPhone cases and learn how to speak Spanish.

Happy Thursday, boys and girls! Sam is on his way to Costco for a trunkload of our favorite must-have food products — teeny tacos, oatmeal cups, breakfast burritos, bacon-wrapped shrimp and a juicy rotisserie chicken — and I’m at home with a nice can of diet root beer. Please hold a good thought that Costco has one rotisserie chicken left for me, although it’s already after 7 p.m. so there’s probably a 90% chance that the chickens are all gone by now. I hate it when all the chickens are gone!

In case you’re wondering, I was hoping to compose a Howdygram post yesterday but I didn’t have much to write about and eventually got sidetracked designing 45 adorable new iPhone 7 cases for The Howdygram Store. I’m still uploading my designs to Zazzle, which is a rather tedious process that sometimes involves too much concentration for my frequently drug-addled senior citizen brain.

Regardless, a sampling of my latest iPhone cases appears below for your possible interest. They include: rose gold diagonal pinstripes; a retro floral “wallpaper’ print in peach and green with a scalloped coral-color burlap monogram; pink, white and aqua marble; and photorealistic tungsten foil. Seriously, people ... are these awesome, or what?

I’ve got an unusual batch of AMAZING FREE FONTS for you tonight that includes two hand-lettered styles, one sturdy sans serif, three highly excellent scripts and a versatile PENIS FONT (my personal favorite) for all of your typographical penis requirements! The name of this font is actually “Semi,” and it includes dozens of penises — in every imaginable pose and from every imaginable angle — with and without hair. Download links appear after the graphic. (“Sailors” is available directly from yours truly via email because I forgot to copy the link.)

Apparently Mexican Senator Armando Rios Piter is proposing legislation that could put Mexico in conflict with the United States as backlash for his country’s president allowing Manhattan orangutan Donald Trump to show up for a last-minute “official visit” last week.

“It was a historic error for our president to invite a person like that to our country. [Mr. Trump] used us as a campaign tool,” the senator told the Telegraph.
Therefore, if Trump ever follows through with his threat to cancel the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA), Piter’s bill would trigger a review, and the potential cancellation, of all bilateral agreements between Mexico and the United States ... including the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, which ended the Mexican-American War and ceded Texas and California — as well as parts of Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah and Wyoming — to the U.S.A.

Holy shit, people. Maybe I’d better stop designing iPhone cases and learn how to speak Spanish!

Thank you for reading this. This election season makes me want to PUKE already!

No comments: