Thursday, March 3, 2016

The FBI has had a busy week arresting violent assholes who thought they were making fools of U.S. Americans.

I’m following a “live blog” of tonight’s GOP debate on for the following three reasons: 1) the sight of Trump, Cruz and Rubio make me want to puke; 2) ditto for their voices; and 3) I’ve been trying for 15 minutes to hook up to Fox News’ livestream. It’s not working probably due to my ad blocker software — a lot of websites HATE ad blocker software — but I don’t give any fucks about that. And now you know why I’m doing the “live blog” hoo-hah on Plus a chime goes off every time a new entry pops up. I like chimes!

Tonight I’m pleased to report that the feds are doing their job BIG-TIME right now with regard to arresting violent assholes who think they’re making fools of U.S. Americans, and to prove my point please take a look at this:

JERRY DELEMUS. New Hampshire resident Jerry Delemus, head of a bogus “veterans’ group” sponsored by Donald Trump and a gun-totin’ member of a right-wing militia organization, was arrested yesterday for threatening law enforcement officers with an assault rifle during the standoff at Bundy Ranch in 2014 and for joining in the takeover of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon. The FBI also arrested BLAINE COOPER, BRIAN CAVALIER and DAVID BUNDY — who knew Cliven had so many dumb-as-fuck offspring? — for the same anti-government activity.

According to Delemus’ wife Susan, who is a loudmouth, a deranged Donald Trump supporter and a New Hampshire state representative, “The FBI just rolled up with lots of vehicles and agents who were in tactical gear. They forced their way into our condo with weapons drawn and arrested Jerry and took him away.”

You may remember Susan Delemus as the lunatic from a Donald Trump focus group a few months ago who declared that every politician except Trump was lying to her through the television. “We’ve got people in positions of power who I know for a fact are liars. LIARS!” Delemus shrieked. “I watch the TV. My president comes on the TV and HE LIES TO ME! I know he’s lying! He lies all the time!” She also thinks the Pope is the anti-Christ, and she tried to strong-arm New Hampshire state officials to keep President Obama’s name off the ballot in November 2012, an action that caused the assistant secretary of state to hire a private security detail because Susan Delemus is a maniac with rifles and he feared for his life.

You have some serious mental health issues, Susie. You fucking moron.
MICHAEL JOHN HARRIS. Angry white shithead and pro-life activist Michael John Harris, 33, has pleaded guilty to two counts of making telephone threats to two Minneapolis women’s clinics in May 2014. According to the Justice Department’s press release, Harris threatened to kill the person on the other end of the phone using his bare hands and then cut the person’s head off with a band saw. In his call to the second clinic, Harris said he would kill the person on the other end of the line and travel to the clinic and shoot everybody who’s there. Harris admitted that he made these threats to intimidate women from obtaining or providing reproductive health services.

The sick irony of a pro-life activist threatening to murder pregnant women and using a saw to cut off their heads is the stuff nightmares are made of. And the concept is even more insane than Bristol Palin promoting abstinence with two unwed pregnancies. 

I have zero free fonts to share with you tonight because I haven’t been looking for any. Instead I spent most of the day designing two adorable new greeting card collections for The Howdygram Store on Zazzle ... “Tough Baby Owl” and “Screwy Cattle” cards, as shown below for your possible interest.

I would love to sit here typing for the rest of the night because I’ve got a million things to write about, but Sam is home from work and it’s time to hang out together in the family room with snacks and “The People’s Court.” I’m considering saltines with butter and pickles and possibly a bowl of lobster ramen on the side.

Thank you for reading this. (Pass the Rolaids.)

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