Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Don’t miss it tonight: President Obama’s final State of the Union Address!

The weirdness continues at Howdygram headquarters. I slept six hours overnight on the chaise in the family room as an alternative to recent difficulties in bed with my leg dressings falling off when I try to get up in the morning. I have two observations about this situation: 1) I sleep like a rock on the chaise; and 2) I miss being next to Sam. But for the time being I have to do whatever it takes to get my legs healed. I am, for the most part, a fucking mess right now. But at least today I’m a WELL-RESTED fucking mess with a large supply of Lipton Gourmet Cup-a-Soup for Senior Citizens. (Details follow.)

After I determined that Wal-Mart refuses to carry the complete line of Lipton Cup-a-Soup products online or in its stores for no decent reason whatsoever, I would like to recommend a cheapo website for your possible interest. I have discovered MyCoffeeSupply.com, where a person also can purchase a large assortment of nicely-priced coffee, tea and beverage crap typically destined for an office break room. Although they do charge for shipping, their Cup-a-Soup prices are lower than Amazon so your grand total winds up to be a better deal if you buy two or more boxes at a time.
As the caption suggests, I mix one packet each of Cream of Chicken and Hearty Chicken Noodle in the same mug AT THE SAME GODDAMN TIME with 8 oz. of boiling water and a quality plastic teaspoon. You end up with a gorgeous little vat of thick chicken noodle soup that’s fabulous enough to fool almost anybody, and this is critical now that I eat a lot of meals at my desk in the study when Sam is at work and there’s nobody here to cook things for me.

There’s a big hoo-hah tonight that you don’t want to miss: President Obama’s final STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS! Please postpone housework, touching up your roots or playing video poker to watch this historic speech by the best president of our lifetime. Look for it at 8 p.m. Central time (9 p.m. Eastern) either online (try the White House’s YouTube channel) or on TV through a major network or cable news carrier, such as CNN.
It might interest you to know that Ben Carson, the functionally illiterate retired neurosurgeon and best friend of Jesus (with a painting in his house to prove it) who still thinks he’s got a shot at the Republican presidential nomination even though his entire staff campaign resigned, is upset that President Obama has invited real Muslims to Congress to watch the State of the Union Address tonight. (Note to Ben Carson: There are two elected Muslims actually serving in the House of Representatives, you stupid shitbag!)
Thank you for reading this. It’s nap-time now.

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