Get fabulous and very affordable eyeglasses from EyeBuyDirect.com.

Happy Saturday evening, boys and girls! I’d like to begin with a shameless commercial for my new best friend, EyeBuyDirect.com. My new eyeglasses came in the mail today, and I’m pleased to announce that they’re perfect in every imaginable way. Perfect fit, perfectly-ground lenses, perfect frames (mine are pictured below) … and an incredibly perfect price for progressive trifocals with anti-glare coating and UV protection. Only $108! And believe it or not, right now they’re running a yooge sale: BUY ONE GET ONE FREE!

My new senior citizen forklift is here. Whoa.

THURSDAY, 10/11/2018, 3:10 P.M. It’s here! It’s here! My new Senior Citizen Forklift — also known as a Hoyer Lift — finally showed up Wednesday afternoon around 5:30 p.m. along with a friendly young man named David who definitely did NOT want to see me naked … and even said so. (I was mildly insulted.) He provided Sam with some cursory information and operating instructions, but as soon as he left we knew we’d need a different style sling than the one that came with the lift, because it requires me to roll around in bed to get it on … and I don’t roll very easily. To tell you the truth, I can’t roll at all. So Sam said he’d do some investigation online to find a more comfortable (and easier-to-use) sling contraption. And here it is!