“Oh, Jerry, don’t let’s ask for the moon. We have the stars!”

THURSDAY, 12:14 A.M., 3/22/2018. Howdy-do, people! It’s just past midnight and I’m comfortably settled in a nice fresh bed with my MacBook Pro, a jug of cherry limeade on ice and Turner Classic Movies. Tonight’s entertainment is including The Way We Were (1973) starring Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford, An Affair to Remember (1957) starring Debra Kerr and Cary Grant, Annie Hall (1977) starring Diane Keaton and Woody Allen, and my all-time personal favorite, Now Voyager (1942) starring Bette Davis, Paul Henreid and Claude Rains. I mean, who could ever forget Bette’s famous line (as Charlotte Vale): “Oh, Jerry, don’t let’s ask for the moon. We have the stars!”

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In case you’re tuning in for the very first time, I’m writing from room 204 at Baylor Hospital in Sunnyvale, Texas. I’ve been here since the morning of Sunday, March 18, having arrived quite quickly via ambulance from Howdygram headquarters when my temperature spiked to 103° and my heart rate hit 140. I may not have been conscious at the time, because I don’t remember ANYTHING from ambulance ride, arriving at the emergency room, or even being catheterized! 

Regardless, the doctors here determined I was “in sepsis” from an advanced urinary tract infection and congestive heart failure. I was supposed to go home yesterday equipped with a PICC-line I.V. and a home health aide to feed me intravenous antibiotics for three days but heard the bad news around 3 p.m. … that it would take a couple of days to get approval for all that hoo-hah from my insurance company, so everybody decided it was a better option to keep me in the hospital instead. Holy shit. I didn’t expect that to be such a long story. My journalism training is failing me.

Actually, I have a secret. I’m not exactly awake because I want to be awake. A nurse woke me up about 40 minutes ago by announcing my bedtime meds in a really loud street voice — “Mrs. Marks! I’ve got some meds for you and an insulin injection!” — and then flipping on all the goddamn overhead lights. I’d already been asleep for two or three hours but I decided to give up at that point and do this. However I’m almost ready to shut it down again. I’m awfully sleepy!

So hail and farewell to you and yours, and thank you for reading this.