On Saturday afternoon I got a call from a home health agency that’s been asked to set up an appointment for me with a traveling foot doctor because I haven’t been able to visit a podiatrist’s office for routine care in more than three years.* I’m diabetic with severe peripheral neuropathy, and these diseases are nothing at which to sneeze, believe me! Please stay tuned for additional information but don’t hesitate to resume your normal routine in the meantime.
* This is due to mobility difficulties. You have no idea how hard it is to get anywhere with a bariatric
wheelchair on a senior citizen transit bus!
The “extremely nice lunch” mentioned above included Campbell’s tomato soup with smooshed saltines, Hormel Compleats Chicken with Gravy and Mashed Potatoes, sugar-free Jell-O with Cool Whip, and sugar-free Hawaiian Punch with a pile of ice.
- Cactus pears are usually covered with prickly little invisible needles that will get into your skin and drive you insane. Therefore NEVER TOUCH A CACTUS PEAR. Slide a plastic bag over your hand in the grocery store, and when you get home you should handle them with tongs or rubber gloves. You’ll thank me for this later.
- THE TEENY SEEDS ARE TOTALLY EDIBLE, so don’t drive yourself crazy trying to get rid of the damn things! After I remove and discard the peel, I cut the fruit into quarters, sprinkle them with Equal and watch a Ronald Colman movie.
Our Putz of the Week, once again, is Donald Trump. It’s another what-the-fuck moment featuring his thoughts about the Mexican border wall — which now has to be TRANSPARENT — shared last week en route to Paris on Air Force One.
As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them ... they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff. It’s over. As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall. But we have some incredible designs.
Trump’s latest rant wasn’t exactly original, however. He was inspired by the following tweet from North Korea!
This brings me to a number of random thoughts and questions.
Wouldn’t a transparent wall actually be a WINDOW?
If an American is hit over the head by a 60-pound bag of flying drugs, would his injuries be covered by Trumpcare or would Mexico have to pay for it?
Those “bad hombres” in Mexico must be awfully strong. If you find one who can hurl a 60-pound bag of dope over a 30-foot wall, let’s hire them for Team U.S.A.
Wow, vicious rivers and 60-lb. bags of flying heroin … the vacation of a lifetime!
Why are so many people standing next to the wall? Is there a Starbucks nearby?
Somebody ask Trump to point out those “violent and vicious” rivers on a map. What the fuck is this ignorant turd talking about?!
I think don’t think Trump understands the concept of “transparency.”
If an American is hit over the head by a 60-pound bag of flying drugs, would his injuries be covered by Trumpcare or would Mexico have to pay for it?
Those “bad hombres” in Mexico must be awfully strong. If you find one who can hurl a 60-pound bag of dope over a 30-foot wall, let’s hire them for Team U.S.A.
Wow, vicious rivers and 60-lb. bags of flying heroin … the vacation of a lifetime!
Why are so many people standing next to the wall? Is there a Starbucks nearby?
Somebody ask Trump to point out those “violent and vicious” rivers on a map. What the fuck is this ignorant turd talking about?!
I think don’t think Trump understands the concept of “transparency.”
I wanted to include another chapter of The Royals here, but I think I’ll hold off until next time because this post is already too long and I don’t want to shove a Princess Anne biography down your throat with extra pictures. Thank you for understanding and thank you for reading this. Remember the Alamo, okay?
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