Fourteen fabulous fonts and two pathetic dancers.

Good morning, how’s the family and happy Tuesday, boys and girls! As I listen to our landscapers outside whacking away at the lawn I’ve been up to my ears in thrilling new FREE FONTS from my two favorite websites, iFonts.xyz and BeFonts.com. Today’s haul is enough to choke a horse and I want to get this part of my post out of the way immediately. Thank you.

Look at all these cutie-pies! There are so many fantastic free fonts today that I honestly don’t think I can narrow it down to my favorites, although there’s a very special place in my heart for the “Aviator” family — 10 styles and a bunch of fabulous graphics! — and “Mark My Words.” Download links will appear after the graphic. Don’t forget to tell your friends, okay?

Aviator & Aviator Script • Charlotte • Flamenca • Hawthorne • The Great Outdoors

Reconsider • Sleepy Fat Cat • Vanilla Gelato • Mark My Words • Novitha

Gradefoldar Script & Sans • Haydon Brush

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Where do I begin? The live season 23 premier of “Dancing with the Losers Stars” last night was probably the biggest waste of two hours on the face of the earth … with a special shout-out to those two useless, would-be dancers from hell, former Texas governor Rick Perry and disgraced POS Olympian Ryan Lochte. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

RICK PERRY is George Dubya Bush’s former best bud and a staunch, pro-life Republican who, as governor of Texas for 14 years, was responsible for 234 death row executions ... more than any other governor in American history. I have no idea why Perry thought he had enough fans — and enough talent — to survive a gig on DWTS, because he was atrocious last night. Cringeworthy, even. (Please see below in case you think I’m exaggerating.)

RYAN LOCHTE apparently thought two weeks was more than enough time for America to forgive him for being a complete asshole and a national embarrassment in Rio ... but he was dead wrong. Members of the audience, wearing anti-Lochte tee shirts, booed before he even got started and then attempted to storm the stage during the critiques. Security eventually managed to subdue the protestors but not before they threw vegetables and scared the hell out of everybody. I’m pretty sure plenty of DWTS fans at home were outraged by Lochte, too. During his pre-dance interview he pouted like a three-year-old, begged America for a second chance and asked us to believe that he’s sorry/not sorry about “over-embellishing” his made-up robbery story. Even his dance partner was having none of it. Her song choice for their performance was “Call Me Irresponsible.”

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The latest right-wing Republican conspiracy theory about Hillary Clinton’s health: SHE WEARS PANTS TO HIDE LIFE-THREATENING BLOOD CLOTS.  

Jesus H. Christ. Enough already.

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Thank you for reading this!