Saturday, September 3, 2016

A whole rotisserie chicken is a thoughtful and ideal gift for a housebound senior citizen.

As I write this post Sam is prowling the aisles at Costco to load up on excellent, tasty shit for our long holiday weekend. Today’s shopping list includes: 1) refrigerated chicken flautas; 2) refrigerated breakfast burritos; 3) refrigerated teeny tacos; 4) a tub of Cape Cod chicken salad; 5) gigantic Chinese chicken salad wrap sandwiches with sesame dressing; 6) tasty oatmeal cups with chopped-up fruits and nuts; 7) frozen gigantic panko-breaded shrimp; 8) frozen bacon-wrapped shrimp with real toothpicks and a fascinating semi-Asian chili sauce; 9) a large take-and-bake supreme pizza from the refrigerated food case; and 10) a whole rotisserie chicken JUST FOR YOURS TRULY because Sam won’t eat chicken with any bones in it. (Don’t ask.)
Incidentally, a whole rotisserie chicken is a thoughtful and ideal gift for a housebound senior citizen because you can get lots of meals from it. In my case, I’ll eat bunch of chicken on a plate with cole slaw for my first meal, make sandwiches on white toast with Hellmann’s mayonnaise for my second and third meals, and then pull apart whatever’s left and smoosh it into Stove Top chicken stuffing for my final meal. (With a lot of gravy.) That’s four excellent meals from one $4.99 Costco chicken. And I didn’t even have to cook the little fucker!

Today’s list of OUTRAGEOUSLY FREE FONTS is a whopper, guys. I’ve got 17 fonts for you! I think my favorites are probably “Melina,” “Ink Bandits,” “Ink Bandits Sans,” “September” and “Taco Tuesday.” As with all of my free fonts for the last year or so, the trend is still sloppy, hand-painted and generally weird. Case in point: Check out “Blush” (see below). Who the fuck writes like that?!

Most of these fonts are included in a gigantic font bundle ... everything from “Bellissimo” through “Taco Tuesday.” If you want “Noelan” and “Ornette,” contact me directly via email and I’ll send you the files. Download links will appear after the graphic. 

I think that’s a wrap for now, okay? Time for a Saturday afternoon nap and a couple of old movies. I love my life!

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