Sunday, June 19, 2016

Happy almost-belated Father’s Day.

Happy Sunday night from hot and sweaty north Texas! It’s 81° at 11 p.m., I’m showered, fed and rested, Sam is outside in his slippers shuffling back and forth in front of the house, and I actually tried to start this post hours and hours ago — before lunch, actually! — but never really got into it. Therefore I’m way too late wishing everybody a happy Father’s Day, in case you’re a father. Here’s my annual celebratory graphic just for the hell of it.

I’m deeply disturbed to report that character actress Ann Morgan Guilbert, 87, the skinny little screwball who was synonymous with beloved sitcoms like “The Dick Van Dyke Show” and “The Nanny,” died on Tuesday after a brief battle with cancer.
A Minnesota native, Guilbert left her hometown and headed for California to study theater. By the time she was in her early 30s she scored the role of Millie Helper, the next door neighbor on “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” Following guest-star roles on other hit TV shows and several notable appearances on Broadway, in the 1990s Guilbert returned to a hit sitcom alongside Fran Drescher in “The Nanny.”

Believe it or not, when I saw the headline yesterday on that an actress from “The Dick Van Dyke Show” had died, I was positive it had to be Rose Marie, who’s about 109 years old and looks like hell. On “The Dick Van Dyke Show,” which ran from 1961 to 1966, she played comedy writer Sally Rogers (for the fictitious “Alan Brady Show”) and then appeared as a regular wise-cracker on “Hollywood Squares” for at least four decades. Rose Marie hasn’t changed her hair style since the end of the Korean War. Yes, she’s still alive. And so are Dick Van Dyke (Rob) and Mary Tyler Moore (Laura).

Looks like there’s a yooge “Anybody But Trump” movement underway within the GOP as distraught Republicans attempt to overthrow their presumptive nominee at the national convention in July. I could spend time rewriting and paraphrasing a fantastic piece I read this morning on Occupy Democrats ... or I’ll just do a simple copy-and-paste and tell you it was written by Colin Taylor. Enjoy, okay?

They are so determined to stop Trump that they haven’t even begun considering who to replace him with yet. “This quite literally is an ‘Anybody but Trump’ movement. Nobody has any idea who’s going to step in and be the nominee, but we’re not worried about that. We’re just doing that job to make sure that he’s not the face of our party” says Colorado delegate Kendal Unruh. Not exactly the most inspiring of platforms, but there isn’t much else for them to stand on.

Trump has recently reiterated his threat to run as a third-party candidate should the GOP not fall in line behind him – and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan has threatened to sue Trump over his proposed ban on Muslims entering the United States. We can expect that all 16 other candidates that were rejected by GOP primary voters the first time around will be equally unpalatable this time around – and how do you think millions of angry gun-owning Republicans across the Midwest and the South will react to hearing that the candidate they voted for and fell in love with is being taken away by the powers that be?

The blatant neglect of the American people and obvious disdain for their voters shown by the Republican establishment prompted the rise of Trump in the first place. Taking away their anointed savior to replace him with a stooge like Mitt Romney or Paul Ryan or (shudder) religious extremist and universally-despised Senator Ted Cruz will spell the end of the Republican Party forever.

Good riddance. Because with a candidate as disgusting as Donald Trump, the end can’t come fast enough for me. For instance, at a campaign rally yesterday in Arizona the Manhattan orangutan said: “I feel like a supermodel, except like times 10.”

Trump was referring, of course, to the extensive and nauseatingly abundant free media coverage he’s received since deciding to run for the White House. He added: “It’s true. I’m a supermodel! I’m on the cover of these magazines ... I’m on the cover of the biggest magazines! I don’t even know about it. I can’t even read the story, because if I did, I wouldn’t get any work done.”
Did you catch the bullshit? He doesn’t even know about it, but he knows he’s on the cover of the biggest magazines. So which one is it? Trump is such a pathological liar that every other word out of his mouth contradicts the one that preceded it.

I think the most telling aspect of his narcissism is how he boasts about polls and primary results. For example, Trump loves to brag that the RNC won’t be able to overthrow him at the convention because “13½ million Republicans voted for me” in the primaries. While that may be true, 17 million Republicans voted for somebody else. And he’d need at least 60 million votes to win the national election in November ... which isn’t even remotely possible with an unfavorable rating at 72%. YOU’RE TOAST, DONALD!

And now I think I’ll join Sam in the family room to watch one of our favorite mysteries, So Long at the Fair (1950) starring Jean Simmons and Dirk Bogarde. We love this movie! It’s set in Paris during the 1889 World’s Fair and shows off some fascinating 18th century police investigation techniques when Jean Simmons’ older brother goes missing and nobody believes he ever existed.

Thank you for reading this!

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