Friday, June 3, 2016

Donald Trump is a litigious wad of rancid lunch meat.

Hi, people. Did you miss me yesterday? I wanted to write a Howdygram post but got caught up designing a thundering herd of new mousepads for The Howdygram Store, my number one favorite new addiction as a retired graphic artist. Not only does this provide an ongoing creative outlet for me, I also earn a few bucks in royalties whenever Zazzle sells my products. MONEY IS TERRIFIC. Stay tuned ... I’ll share a few of my new designs later in this post.

I think I’d like to begin today with four more SWELL FREE FONTS, all of which I’ll use eventually for God-knows-what and miscellaneous design hoo-hahs. My favorite is “Take It or Leave It.” (Not to be confused with “Take It and Shove It.”) Convenient download links appear below the graphic in case you’d like to add these to your own collection.

The Howdygram is really, really sorry to report that legendary heavyweight boxing champion Muhammad Ali, 74, is in grave condition tonight and on life support at a hospital in Phoenix, suffering from a severe respiratory condition. Ali, who has also been battling advanced Parkinson’s disease in recent years, is surrounded by his family and close friends. George Foreman sent over a grill. Please hold a good thought for “the champ,” okay?

Some Clif Bar energy bars are the latest products to be recalled due to containing sunflower kernels that might be poisoned with Listeria. Quaker Quinoa Granola Bars and Kashi Trail Mix Chewy Granola Bars were recalled earlier in the week. At this point at least 39 separate recalls have been announced since May 3 by companies that use sunflower kernels supplied by SunOpta in products distributed throughout the U.S. Listeria is a very serious thing that can cause intestinal explosions and meningitis. The FDA is recommending alternate snack options in the meantime, such as Cheetos, pretzel rods and Fritos with a bunch of cheese sauce.

Donald Trump has blown a lot of hot air during his campaign, mostly bragging about his imaginary success in business and his skills as a “dealmaker” and “negotiator.” None of these things is even remotely true. Trump and his bullshit real estate empire have been involved in 3,500 lawsuits over the past 30 years ... with a jaw-dropping 70 filed since the start of his presidential campaign alone. USA Today reports that Trump has been the plaintiff for 1,900 of them and defendant for 1,300. No other nominee in the history of the United States has ever been a party to so many lawsuits. As a matter of fact, Donald Trump’s entire business career has been conducted primarily through bullying, cheating, extortion and misrepresentation. He typically refuses to pay real estate brokers, lawyers, manufacturers, vendors and clients, sues to weasel out of his debts, and he’s a dishonest cheat who torments anybody who opposes him.

This enormous litigious mess paints the picture of a spoiled, impulsive, overgrown baby living in a world of “yes” men and delusion fueled by his own narcissism. DONALD TRUMP, YOU’RE A HORRIBLE PIECE OF SHIT.

Here are a few of The Howdygram Store’s new mousepad designs for your possible interest. These three offer several color options of each design. The first one is a geometric pattern with a large square center monogram and you can order yours in natural with charcoal, red, plum, navy or chocolate brown. The striking “space age” abstract in the middle is available in emerald green, red/orange and purple, and the photorealistic giraffe print at the bottom can be ordered in yellow gold, rose gold and “blonde” gold. Hot damn ... I LOVE THESE!
We also have a few new “statement” designs that aren’t personalized or monogrammed. More are in the works. (I actually have lists of product ideas all over the damn place.)
And now I think I’ll take a bathroom break, eat some food and go watch TV for a while. I didn’t get much of a nap today. (A girl needs her naps.)

Thank you for reading this!

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