Dr. Ben Carson is probably the worst goddamn campaign surrogate in history.

Yo, people! It’s 2:15 Friday morning and I should be asleep right now except I feel guilty that I haven’t written a Howdygram post since Tuesday, so I’ll sit here in the study and type until my pain meds kick in and I can’t focus my eyes. Thank you.

Introducing “Font U” and other Tuesday nonsense.

It’s 3 a.m. Tuesday morning and I’m wide awake. Looks like my new and improved normal sleeping schedule [see previous post] lasted only one stinking day. However I’ve decided to cut myself some slack and stop worrying about this. I’m a retired senior citizen with a pile of irritating health issues AND I’LL SLEEP WHENEVER THE FUCK I WANT. Thank you.