The Howdygram 2: Please let me make your protest signs, okay?

As February winds down I realize this has NOT been a swell month for writing Howdygram posts, mostly due to a number of distractions and miscellaneous issues that had to take precedence. These have included: 1) designing greeting cards for The Howdygram Store; 2) trying not to have a nervous breakdown about the fascist slob residing in the White House; 3) sleeping and/or watching a large number of old movies; and 4) finding local protest events for Sam — he’s part of the “resistance” movement now — and designing appropriate signs he can wave at the TV cameras. For your possible interest, today at 3 p.m. Sam will be protesting Congress’ threat to repeal the ACA at Representative Jeb Hensarling’s office in north Dallas. Here are the three signs I made for today’s event.

These are the epitome of DIRT CHEAP, people! I created the files, saved them as JPGs and burned a CD; Sam took the CD to Office Max and had them printed on 11" x 17" paper with black ink. Total cost: 27¢ apiece. What a fucking bargain! When he got home a few minutes ago Sam taped them to neon poster board on the floor of the study. He’s using “CONGRESS HAS HEALTH CARE” and “SAVE THE ACA” for this afternoon’s hoo-hah at Representative Hensarling’s office. He promised to take some pictures this time for posterity (and the Howdygram).

PLEASE LET ME MAKE YOUR PROTEST SIGNS. I’m a housebound old coot with mobility issues and this is the only way I can join the movement ... so I hope you’ll let me have some fun! Just tell me what you want to say, and I’ll design your signs and send you the JPGs via email. No charge whatsoever. You can either burn a CD or save them to a flash drive and have the files printed at Office Depot, Staples or Office Max. Thank you. Click here to get started!

I had a little splurge a few days ago on Etsy.com ... six new digital collections of fabulous and versatile high-resolution background images. Samples are pictured below. I love ALL of them but especially can’t wait to start using the ivory and silver foil patterns for wedding-related products and greeting card backgrounds. Oh boy, am I right?!

In addition to my splurge on Etsy.com I want to share my latest pile of FREE FONTS ... a truly thrilling representation of fun hand-drawn fonts, exciting scripts and other whatnots. I especially love “Quarzo,” “Cartina,” “Alianza Labels,” “Camila” and “Eterea,” the latter being exquisite fancy initial caps paired with equally exquisite serif small caps. FYI, the Corradine Bundle actually contains about 3o fonts; I’m only listing the ones that I installed on my iMac. Download links appear below the graphic.

Aurelia • Redoura • Camila • Mikha Duo • Camargue • Corradine Bundle

Cartina • Type Top • Crellitta • Quintus

Incidentally, if you purchased all of these fonts (most are available for sale on MyFonts.com) you’d pay $497.95. That’s a lot of dough. GOD BLESS FREE FONTS AND/OR THE CROOKS WHO GIVE THEM AWAY.

It makes perfect sense that the Stupidest Idiot in Congress — i.e., Louie Gohmert (R-TX) — would try to hide from his constituents during recess week by cringing behind a woman. A couple of days ago Gohmert invoked the 2011 shooting of former Representative Gabby Giffords (D-AZ) as the reason to not hold a public town hall.

His statement read: “At this time there are groups from the more violent strains of the leftist ideology, some even being paid, who are preying on public town halls to wreak havoc and threaten public safety. Threats are nothing new to me and I have gotten my share as a felony judge. However, the House Sergeant at Arms advised us after former Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was shot at a public appearance, that civilian attendees at Congressional public events stand the most chance of being harmed or killed, just as happened there.”

Ironically, less than a month ago Gohmert was already so deeply concerned about public safety that he a co-sponsored a bill to make it easier for mentally ill people to buy a weapons arsenal.

Gohmert says he’ll resume town halls again when “the threat of violence at town hall meetings recedes.”

As for mentioning Gabby Giffords, Gohmert’s response at the time to Giffords getting shot was to introduce a bill to let congressmen carry guns INSIDE THE CAPITOL so the House of Representatives could function more like Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957) starring Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas. But Gohmert is probably sincere about invoking Giffords’ name, because the first time she returned to the House after her long recovery, Representative Dumbfuck Baldylocks of Texas brought her a box of chocolates. (Sometimes you get a vanilla creme and other times you get shot in the head.)

In conclusion, Louie Gohmert refuses to face his own constituents at a town hall meeting because he’s afraid WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE.

The end.

In conclusion I thought you might enjoy the following quote from President Donald J. Cheetolini, our national embarrassment.