Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Sam is our official political activist now.

Hi, people. It’s 2:15 Wednesday morning and I’m wide awake at my desk in the study, eating crunchy stuff from Wal-Mart while I try to deal with nasal congestion, drippy eyes and a raging asshole in the White House. I have a hunch I’ll overcome a couple of these issues a lot easier than the third one. I’m just saying.

In this post it will be my goal to weave together a bunch of disjointed topics without coming across like a schizophrenic. Maybe subtitled sections would be the way to go. I’ll give this my best shot, okay?

SAM IS OUR OFFICIAL POLITICAL ACTIVIST. Sam joined a chanting, sign-waving protest group on Wednesday at Senator John Cornyn’s (R-TX) office in Plano, and he was one of nine invited inside to meet with the senator’s staff. The theme of the protest was to voice objections to Donald Trump’s nominees for various agency and department heads. Each of the nine protestors had a chance to speak ... and Sam jumped right in to express serious concern about appointing Rick Perry — inept, woefully under-educated (with a 2.7 GPA, he barely earned a degree in Animal Husbandry) and completely unqualified — as the Secretary of Energy, a post that requires maintenance (and an understanding) of America’s nuclear arsenal. Yay, Sam! YOU WERE THE MOST ADORABLE PROTESTOR IN PLANO!
THE TWO MOST MISERABLE PEOPLE IN AMERICA ... are Donald and Melania Trump!? In case you don’t believe me, here’s a photo taken last Friday at the White House inaugural luncheon. Holy shit, CHECK OUT THE EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE! And I’d like a show of hands if you think Melania might be a battered wife. She looks fucking terrified of him.
And just in case you think that photo was a fluke, here’s a brief video clip taken immediately before Trump was sworn in. It’s no wonder Melania wants to live in Manhattan.

A SHUT-IN AND HER CRAVINGS. I’m referring to yours truly, of course, and the fact that I run fevers without warning and frequently feel like total crap, so I decided to order two cans of Manischewitz matzo ball soup online from Wal-Mart because I can’t stand up in the kitchen any more to cook my own soup, there are no authentic delicatessens in the Dallas metro area, and I’m pretty sure you couldn’t find real Jewish groceries within 200 miles of Mesquite. So although Manischewitz’s canned soup might be lame, at least I’ll get a couple of teeny matzo balls floating in a broth I can doctor up with a little Knorr chicken bouillon if I need to and throw in some matzo farfel for added “oomph.” I LOVE MATZO FARFEL!
WE’RE NOT IMPRESSED BY TRADER JOE’S HERE IN TEXAS. After spending 12 years in southern California feeding my Trader Joe’s addiction multiple times a week, it was exciting, finally, when T.J.’s started opening stores in here in the Dallas area about three years ago. There are six of them now, mostly in ritzy suburban locations or upscale urban neighborhoods like Lower Greenville ... none of them anywhere near Mesquite. So yesterday after his protest event in Plano Sam volunteered to stop at Trader Joe’s off the 75 and Walnut Hill in Dallas to bring home some goodies from a short list we put together in the morning. I requested a tray of California rolls (Costco discontinued theirs about a year ago), miscellaneous refrigerated single prepared entrees (in California we always bought the chicken tamales, meatloaf, lasagna, individual fresh-made pizzas and turkey meatballs in sauce), rye bread, cashews, couscous salad, frozen mac & cheese with hatch chilis and frozen Mandarin orange chicken.
Sam couldn’t find most of the items on our list because Trader Joe’s doesn’t sell any of those products in Texas! He did bring home a sushi tray (pictured above), a challah instead of rye bread, the frozen mac & cheese and a bag of the frozen Mandarin orange chicken. He also bought a container of Thai noodle salad with chicken and a nasty-flavored peanut dressing, a couple of refrigerated spring rolls in see-through rice wrappers, and a teeny bag of dried Mandarin oranges that were tasty but leathery. I think the biggest disappointment, though, was that sushi tray ... obviously more than two days old, dried out and hard as a rock. There also wasn’t nearly enough wasabe and they included a little tub of syrupy thick soy sauce. I don’t like thick soy sauce! (It might be great for cooking but the texture is horrible for dipping California rolls.) I’ll review the rest of the products Sam bought later today after we’ve had a chance to eat them ... so stay tuned for an additional review. Fortunately, I think we finally got Trader Joe’s out of our system yesterday because they don’t sell any of our favorite foods here and there’s not much we can do about it. In the meantime ... THANK GOD FOR COSTCO.

The following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; B) Trader Joe’s at Walnut Hill Lane and the 75 in Dallas; and C) the Baylor Family Health Center of Mesquite on the I-30 service road. I have an appointment there next Friday for a routine quarterly checkup that will include a pleasant 90-second ride in the car, a chat with Dr. M, blood work and a wee-wee specimen. By now I hope they’ve trained a couple of new phlebotomists. Last time I was there nobody could figure out how to draw my blood and I made them stop after four stabs.

Check out all these fabulous FREE FONTS, guys! My favorites here are “Retro Toons” (love that little Mighty Mouse cartoon), “KL Emily” (terrific for greeting cards for The Howdygram Store), the versatile and amazingly legible “Rogliano Family” (I think I may use the bold style for photo captions in the Howdygram) and last but not least, “Hello Beautiful,” which comes with a coordinating sans serif and a bunch of swashy strokes and doodads.

Upcoming events on tap for the rest of the week ... Sam is taking our car to Pep Boys this morning for routine (but expensive) maintenance work and on Thursday he’ll go to Costco because we don’t have any more shrimp tempura and I’m having a brain hemorrhage. And that’s about all.

It’s 5:30 in the morning now and way past my bedtime! Thank you for reading this and please do your best to think about the Alamo once in a while. And by the way, I’ve got one last photo you might like.

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