Sunday, August 26, 2018

It’s still Sunday. See what happens when you’re a housebound old coot?

Oh my God, what a day. I’m not sure I can even begin to describe Sunday’s “whine list,” but I’ll give it my best shot for the sake of Howdygram readers far and wide who check in every day to find out what the hell’s going on around here. First, however, you should know that I’m still alive and happy … but not necessarily in that order.
  • THE GRAND BLOCKAGE. Today at 8:30 a.m. I was finally able to clear the grand blockage. In an attempt to avoid vulgarity, which will probably be impossible, considering the subject matter, it was the most wretched experience of my life … and I’ve been through my share of wretched experiences! And my friends Sandi and Gayle, in separate emails (obviously, as they don’t know each other, live in different states, and have not, to the best of my knowledge, ever met), both told me to try Fiber One products to help “move along” my bowel issues. I will order a supply from Wal-Mart tomorrow!
  • ACHES, PAINS AND URINARY TRACT HORSESHIT. The aches and pains include arthritic knees, fucked-up shoulders and the urinary tract infection from hell that just won’t go away. I’m on a second round of antibiotics (for the UTI) that ends on Tuesday. Leftover from Saturday I continue to deal with severe pain on the back of my thighs from a variety of cuts, open wounds, hyper-sensitive skin and leaking pressure sores. Sam re-bandaged one particularly nasty cut to avoid unnecessary abrasion and irritation (thank you, Sam!) and then shmeared me all over with Balmex barrier cream, the most wonderful topical anesthetic ever, which actually made it possible for me to sit at my computer workstation for a few hours.
  • ELECTRICAL MALFUNCTION. This refers specifically to diabetic peripheral neuropathy and hideous zapping and burning sensations in my feet, multiple toes and down the outside of my right thigh.
  • ONE MORE THING. Thank you.



I’ve got a teeny-tiny list of three FREE FONTS for you right now … a nice script (“Simply Sweet”) with multiple styles and a coordinating serif font, an interesting brush font (“Lunar Blossom”) with lots of swashy things included, and a casual “Free Style Marker” that actually looks like my own printing style. Download links are included below the graphic in case you want to add these to your personal collection, okay?




I’m lying on the chaise right now with my MacBook balanced on my stomach, getting frequent error messages that I’m not connected to the Internet. Therefore I suppose I’ll continue to type until my brain runs out of words, attempt to publish this Howdygram post or nod off with the lull of my oxygen generator and worry about publishing again in the morning.

Believe it or not, I just realized for the second time tonight that it’s still Sunday. See what happens when you’re a housebound old coot? The days all drift together! However I should get ready to publish this post now (my Internet connection is back) and go to sleep while I wait for Sam to wake me when he gets up at 3 a.m. so I can take my bedtime meds. By way of an explanation, I took my dinner-time pills four hours late (around 10:30 p.m.) because I forgot, so Sam told me to skip my bedtime pills until he wakes me at 3. I take way too many pills. You’d gag if you saw them all.



I’d like to mention the Alamo for a moment, okay? The best part about a personal visit to the Alamo, for instance if you take a vacation to San Antonio, is seeing Jim Bowie’s gigantic authentic knife and Davy Crockett’s official suede outfit with fringes in big glass display cases like a museum. Also the nice (expensive) outdoor lighting for tourists, which is charged to the valiant taxpayers of Texas.

Thank you for reading this.

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