The Howdygram 2: Guess who’s getting a new catheter on Thursday.

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Guess who’s getting a new catheter on Thursday.

Shalom, yo and howdy-do from Howdygram headquarters. This will most likely be a brief post, owin’ to the fact that I haven’t got a whole lot to say. And also because Sam has been withdrawn and non-communicative for most of the day and evening. He’s actually scaring me a little, to tell you the truth. I know most of his mood is based on America’s terrifying new immigration nightmare ... and quite honestly, I’m feeling the emotional strain, too.

I don’t know what we can do as individual citizens, but there has to be something. We have to raise our voices to Congress and make them STOP THE WHITE HOUSE … and STOP TRUMP!

My hospice R.N., Stella, was here today to change the dressing on the ulcer on my left heel (almost fully healed), check my vitals (all good) and fill my two-week pill sorter with several dozen prescription medications. The meds confounded Stella a little, and rightly so, because I don’t have any of the original prescription bottles. I always kept my meds in teeny individual (labeled) Tupperware containers, the kind that everybody else uses to take salad dressing to work with their lunch. Anyhow, I promised Stella I’d save the original prescription bottles from now on AND type up an easy-to-read list of my medications with dose information.

Stella said she’d be back on Thursday to change the dressing on my heel again (most likely for the last time) and — this is really important, people — to remove my Foley catheter, which I’ve been wearing since May 24, and replace it with a new one.

I was petrified until Stella assured me she’s as painless as possible with catheters and promised that I wouldn’t feel it. For some reason, I want to believe her! Stay tuned for more information, okay? Stella will be back around 5 p.m. on Thursday. (Oy.)

Today was a truly monumental day around here. Sam moved my iMac computer from the family room into the study and set everything up on my new rolling computer desk! We’ve even got a surge protector on the floor that makes plug-ins quick and convenient. THIS IS SO FANTASTIC! My new desk is the perfect size, the perfect height, plenty of room … and it was comfortable and wonderful to spend all afternoon working on the creative projects I’ve missed so much. As a matter of fact, when I turned on my iMac and heard that familiar Macintosh “chord,” I actually burst into tears.

Today I allowed myself to get “caught up” a little … I started by uploading artwork for eight new greeting cards to The Howdygram Store (see samples below) and then designed several new funny mugs and a couple of iPhone cases.

Tomorrow I’ll be able to get started a little earlier than today. My hospice C.N.A. will be here for bathing and hygiene at 10 a.m., and when she’s finished — this usually takes about half an hour — I’ll shlep to the bench and ask Sam to roll my computer to me. I think I also want Sam to move another essential piece of equipment into the family room for me … my gigantic plastic greeting card file box, in which everything is organized by mail-by date so I’ll never miss anybody’s birthday ever again for the rest of my life. I’m a fucking genius!

It’s 11 p.m., and I’m hungry. A couple of Popsicles would be great right about now followed by a mug full of Pepperidge Farm goldfish. These are my usual bedtime treats … in addition to Morphine, assorted other prescription meds and a juicy shot of insulin.

In the meantime …