Sunday, May 20, 2018

I’m pretty sure the Queen doesn’t eat rib tips, grits or collard greens.

SATURDAY, 5/19/2018, 10:35 P.M. Just a short “update” post before I go to sleep: I CAN BREATHE AGAIN! After being unable to take a deep breath for the last 48 hours I’m pleased to announce a recovery that’s still in progress. Baylor HouseCalls’ weekend medical crew told me to take a more substanial dose of Lasix (40mg in the morning, 20mg in the afternoon) … and IT WORKED. I’ve been peeing like Niagara Falls every 60 minutes since 7:30 this morning, which is exhausting, frustrating and seriously inconvenient … mostly because I can’t usually make it to the commode. (Thank God we’ve got a huge box of wee-wee pads.) Lasix is pulling every ounce of liquid out of my body, exactly as it’s supposed to do. And Baylor even sent a radiology technician to take a chest x-ray. I’m waiting to hear about the results.

What’s new at YOUR house? Please send me a comment, a message or an email. Thank you!

I’m watching Ice Station Zebra (1968), a Cold War suspense story set in the Arctic starring Ernest Borgnine and Rock Husdon. I think Sam is sleeping through this one. (He’s not a huge Rock Hudson fan.)

Rock Hudson, Patrick McGoohan and Ernest Borgnine in “Ice Station Zebra.”

SUNDAY, 5/20/2018, 4:36 P.M. I’m still recuperating after several consecutive shitty days, feeling sluggish, frustrated, tired and unable to put any weight on my left foot. This time, however, it’s not just my deformed and purple baby toe that’s making me miserable … it’s also a very large bleeding blister on my heel that refuses to go away! The pain defies description so I won’t even try, except for the following conclusion: EVEN EGG FOO YOUNG DOESN’T HELP.

If you didn’t watch Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding on Saturday you definitely missed a number of “firsts” for Britan’s royal family. These included: 1) a bi-racial and divorced American bride; 2) a black gospel minister delivering part of the ceremony; 3) black gospel music sung by a Baptist choir; and 4) a soul food lunch after the wedding. (Okay, I might be kidding about #4. I’m pretty sure the Queen doesn’t eat rib tips, grits or collard greens.)

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle wave to the paeons after their wedding at Windsor Castle.

Sam is on his way to Wal-Mart to buy an antiseptic/topical anesthetic spray for the horrible bleeding blister on the bottom of my left heel. Apparently the blister is exponentially worse today than it was yesterday, so much so that I’ve been instructed to call my podiatrist tomorrow morning to request an emergency house call. (Diabetics shouldn’t fuck around with something like this.)

Sam also decided that my old, beat-up slippers are probably doing me more harm than good, so effective immediately I’ll be wearing replacement slippers that I bought more than a year ago but haven’t worn. They’re tan suede open-toe scuffs with a velcro closure, a rubber sole and a furry lining. And they’re comfortable, too!

To cheer me up Sam will also stop at Five Guys on his way home from Wal-Mart to pick up dinner for me … their famous “little” cheeseburger with grilled onions, ketchup, mustard, relish and mayo. Plus an order of their fabulous homemade fries. I’m so excited I almost can’t stand it! (In case you’re interested, Five Guys’ “regular” cheeseburger includes two hamburger patties; the “little” cheeseburger only has one hamburger patty. In the grand scheme of things this is not especially complicated.)

A Five Guys cheeseburger with grilled onions and a small order of fries.

SUNDAY, 10:07 P.M. Oy, I’ve got indigestion. At the moment it’s being aided by a tall glass of carbonated Cherry Limeade with a bendy straw. Cherry Limeade cures EVERYTHING! Our movie choices this evening have included The Story of Louis Pasteur (1936) starring Paul Muni and Josephine Hutchinson, and To Be or Not To Be (1942) starring Jack Benny and Carole Lombard. It’s only a few minutes after 10 p.m. right now … if Sam ever wakes up from his nap we’ll switch over to HBO’s “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.” So many options, so little time.

I’m pleased to report that a simple over-the-counter product from Wal-Mart has reduced the pain in my foot by A LOT. Sam bought a bottle of Bactine spray-on antiseptic/anesthetic, shpritzed it all over my left heel, and the pain dropped from a 10 to a 3 in less than two minutes. It was INCREDIBLE. I was able to stand up without pain and walk to the commode without crying. What a miracle! Tomorrow I think I’ll ask him to spray my baby toe, too.

With so much less pain in my left foot, I might even be able to walk into the study this week. It’s been such a long time! I’ve got a lot of mugs and greeting cards to design for The Howdygram Store, at least 75 free fonts to install on my iMac, and so on. In addition, I promised myself a mini shopping spree on Creative Market if my store’s sales ever reached a certain level ... and they did, about two months ago!

It’s bedtime, friends. Thank you for reading this!

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