Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Guess what! My new lower denture didn’t fit yesterday and the teeth were the wrong color.

It’s a wild and windy Tuesday morning here. The fireplace flue is rattling, our solar screens are vibrating, and I’m waiting for a phone call from Agape Home Healthcare regarding physical therapy services. A week ago Sam and I met with a representative from Physicians’ Choice … but that didn’t turn out very well as Physicians’ Choice seemed more interested in providing open-ended weekly nursing care (so they can collect more $$$ from Medicare) than six puny weeks of physical therapy, and therefore I couldn’t get anybody to follow through or set up my first appointment.

So today I decided to move on, and I left word for my Baylor HouseCalls primary to refer me to Agape. Stay tuned for additional developments, okay? I WANT TO START WALKING AGAIN!

Here are a few more essential words for your growing Yiddish vocabulary! Schav is a chilled soup. To shlep is to drag or haul. Shlock means cheap or poor quality. Shlong means penis (vulgar). A shlub is a stupid, goony or clumsy person. Shmaltzy is excessively sentimental or corny. A shmatta is a rag. To shmeer means to spread. A shmo is a stupid person. A shmuck is a fool or a penis (vulgar). A shnook is a gullible person who’s easily cheated. And finally, a shnorrer is a beggar or a freeloader.

Oy. Bad news! My team from Elite Mobile Dental showed up yesterday with the lower denture I’d been waiting for … and there were two immediate problems: 1) the denture DIDN’T FIT; and 2) the teeth were the WRONG COLOR! My dentist was extremely apologetic (and embarrasssed) and promised that the lab wouldn’t make another mistake like this. They’ll be back in two weeks with a completely new lower denture. In the meantime, of course, I’m absolutely CRUSHED. I haven’t been able to bite or crunch since the beginning of the year … and we’ve already shelled out more than $5,000 for all of my dental work, including seven extractions, several impressions and one lower denture.



I’ve had a difficult day. My wretched over-active bladder made me miserable every 90 minutes ... and it didn’t make Sam very happy, either! I spent hours and hours trying to grab a nap on the chaise but never managed to conk out due to an all-day hypoglycemic — low blood sugar — episode, which always leaves me short of breath and unable to sleep. By the time I finally figured out what was going on I ate a few glucose tablets (my favorite flavor is fruit punch) and dozed off watching Gosford Park (2001) starring Maggie Smith, Kristin Scott Thomas, Helen Mirren and Bob Balaban. I woke up just in time for dinner.

Snooty, titled rich people in Robert Altman’s “Gosford Park.”

Sam made me spaghetti and meatballs tonight. I LOVE SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS!

Right now I’m watching Virginia City (1940) starring Errol Flynn, Randolph Scott and Miriam Hopkins … one of my favorite western action movies. It’s actually about the Civil War, with Errol Flynn as a Union spy, and Miriam Hopkins and Randolph Scott as Confederates trying to smuggle $5 million in gold from the Southern-owned mines in Virginia City, Nevada, to help the Confederacy win the war. There are lot of amazing scenes, including Miriam Hopkins as a dance hall girl who can’t sing or dance, everybody shlepping through the desert in a wagon train with no water, blowing up a bunch of rocks to hide the gold shipment, and Humphrey Bogart as a character named John Morel, a Mexican bandit with a cheesy mustache and an atrocious accent. GREAT STUFF!

Randolph Scott, Errol Flynn and Miriam Hopkins in “Virginia City.”



I think that’s about it for tonight, people. I’m tired, I need Jell-O, and I wouldn’t mind a couple of “Columbo” reruns to help me unwind. Thank you for reading this!

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