Saturday, July 22, 2017

Chives! Sour cream! Bacon bits! Butter!

My sleep pattern is a fucking MESS. It’s almost 5 p.m. and I’m EXHAUSTED, but that’s because I only had slightly more than four hours of sleep yesterday and woke up at noon. I know I shouldn’t whine about this due to being retired and I can grab more sleep any time I want, but Sam and I are on completely different schedules right now like ships passing in the night. I also have some significant PAIN ISSUES to complain about today. Specifically, my tailbone aches, I’ve got burning skin on the inside of my left thigh and I’m having insane electric shock spasms in my toes and heels due to diabetic neuropathy. Also in my thighs. This is extremely horrible. And then I hear the news that serial felon O. J. Simpson convinced a parole board to release him from prison — FOR FUCK’S SAKE … WHY!? — and Senator John McCain has brain cancer.

Regarding that last news story, lots of U.S. Americans have flocked to Twitter this weekend to expres their support for McCain. Sure, I’m sorry he has cancer, too. But now everybody’s recalling what a swell guy he was back in 2008 when he occasionally shut down racist, anti-Obama jerks at town halls during his presidential campaign.

However, McCain was also the asshole who launched Sarah Palin and her white trash family of Alaskan losers onto the national stage nearly 10 years ago ... and we’re still not completely rid of her! So yeah, I’m sorry that John McCain has cancer — I’m sorry that anybody has cancer! — but please STOP IT ALREADY with all that swell-guy crap, okay?
For those of you who care I’ll throw in my latest Shit-O-Meter pain report even though I know I’ll feel better after another round of drugs. God bless drugs.

Tonight’s collection of FREE FONTS features some very cool hand-drawn whatnots, such as (my favorites) “Summer Font,” “Road Trip” and “Piper.” I especially love “Piper” because it looks fabulous on a chalkboard background. “Cold Brew” has a mid-century advertising vibe and includes a lot of swashy extras and 1950s-style space age stars and asterisks. The fonts in the left-hand column below are actually just a small representation of the fonts included the bundle (the rest of them were ugly). Download links will appear after the graphic. Enjoy!

And now … free seamless patterns, clipart and tea party illustrations courtesy of Creative Market. I’m not exactly sure how I’ll use all this, but it’s all great quality and I love building up my arsenal of design assets for future projects. I especially love seamless background patterns, because the possibilities are just endless. And when they’re available in Adobe Illustrator format you can change the colors, resize the images, and so on. Woo-hoo! Please shoot me an email if you want any of these, okay?
Love these adorable background patterns and tea party illustrations! The clipart collection also includes froggies, snails, mice with bow ties and a couple of rabbits with hats. (The artist must have been smoking weed.)

Before I sign off I feel compelled to mention last night’s dinner … a delectable feast by my live-in chef, Wolfgang Marks. Sam made loaded baked potatoes — chives! sour cream! bacon bits! butter! — with cole slaw and a slab of Hormel heat & serve meat loaf from Wal-Mart. And I had sugar-free Jello-O with Cool Whip for dessert. However, Sam’s kitchen wizardry isn’t limited to Wal-Mart meat loaf and Jell-O! He frequently heats up amazing bowls of soup (Campbell’s onion soup is my current favorite) and assembles the world’s most artistic platters of cold cuts with coordinating pickles. THANK YOU, SAM! Forks ahoy!

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