Friday, January 6, 2017

Sugar-free Almonettes cookies with sugar-free Pillsbury chocolate fudge frosting. Oh my God.

This hasn’t been an easy morning for me. I’ve been awake since 4 a.m. wrestling with various obnoxious, severe and unrelenting pain issues, including burning skin on the back of both thighs, a hideous rash and a pressure in my chest because I had to belch. (Seriously.) To keep myself distracted I’m reading a lot of baloney on the Internet, downloading more free fonts (check them out in the next section), drinking diet ginger ale and eating Cheetos two at a time. CHEETOS SOLVE EVERYTHING.

Yup ... more FREE FONTS! “Espresso Roast” and “Signerella Duo” are versatile scripts that include coordinating sans serif fonts and a large assortment of decorative extras, “Saturday Script” and “William Kidmon” look like natural handwriting, “Amelia” is elegant, and “Dude” has a wild-west vibe with 12 unique styles named for country music stars, i.e., “Johnny, ”Dolly,” “Willie” and so on. (“Johnny” is pictured below.) Check out the download links after the graphic.

It is 6 p.m. now and I would like to report that — due to the early-morning pain issues outlined in paragraph one of this post — I’ve been asleep ALL DAMN DAY, probably about six hours! Sam confirmed that I managed to sleep through one legitimate quarter-inch snowstorm, two meals and three excellent movies: 1) Svengali (1931), a very creepy story starring John Barrymore and Marian Marsh; 2) Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) starring Richard Dreyfuss, Melinda Dillon and Cary Guffey; and 3) After the Thin Man (1937) starring William Powell, Myrna Loy and James Stewart. Holy shit. I absolutely LOVE those movies!
While you’re probably familiar with Close Encounters and After the Thin Man, I think it’s my responsibility to provide a brief rundown on Svengali, an early talkie in which John Barrymore, or possibly director Archie Mayo, couldn’t quite decide if the title role should be played for laughs or not because Barrymore definitely starts out behaving like a freakin’ CARTOON CHARACTER. He transitions into a scary pedophiliac/hypnotist as soon as Marian Marsh appears on the scene. She portrays a 17-year-old artist’s model who meets Svengali, a renowned maestro and voice coach, for the first time while they’re both waiting in a studio for painters Donald Crisp and Lumsden Hare to come home. Svengali almost immediately launches his infamous “look into my eyes” routine, forces Marian into a faked suicide so her family and friends will forget about her, and then shleps her all over Europe performing opera as “Madame Svengali.” I won’t tell you how this ends so you’ll have to watch the movie and find out for yourself. Thank you ... and pass the popcorn!

And now I think it’s time to migrate into the family room and hang out with Sam for a while. I’m seriously considering sugar-free Almonettes cookies with sugar-free Pillsbury chocolate fudge frosting. Oh my God. YES.

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